British actress Susan George has told of her unbearable grief over the death of her husband Simon MacCorkindale, revealing she often feels lost and "broken".
The Straw Dogs star was devastated when her actor partner lost his battle with cancer at the age of 58 in October (10).
She has now spoken out in a poignant interview with Britain's Hello! magazine, revealing her heartache as she bravely struggles to rebuild her life following the tragedy.
George says, "When people ask, 'How are you doing?' the truth is, I don't know. I think I'm doing quite well, but it's an impossible question to answer.
"I have my moments when I'm so together, I feel I am moving forward with strength and clarity and beginning to adjust to life on my own. Other times, I fall apart, and it happens in a trice. Just at the mention of his name... like now... and I feel so broken... I sometimes feel as if I'm outside myself, looking in."
The actress also tells of her final days with MacCorkindale, who starred in Death On The Nile and had a long-running role in U.K. TV medical drama Casualty, and reveals they both believed he would beat the disease.
She adds, "We were determined and totally believed that he would get better. We did everything. But there's a part of you that wonders, 'Could I have done more?'... It was all so sudden... Typically, when we arrived at the hospital, he made light of it and we thought he'd be in for just a few days, as did his oncologist. The staff were incredibly upbeat.
"He had another respiratory infection and needed to be there, but that was all... In the week that followed I was with him every day, but things were going wrong, horribly wrong, and on 14 October, in the night and in my arms, I lost him. It's so unbelievably cruel. There's no explanation. There's no point asking questions. Everybody did their best."
MacCorkindale was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2006. He learned the cancer was terminal after it spread to his lungs in 2007.