Steps star Ian 'H' WATKINS has opened up about his tragic loss after a surrogate mother miscarried his child.
The British singer and his longtime boyfriend Craig Ryder revealed last year (11) that they wanted to become parents, and they chose an unidentified woman from America to carry their baby.
However, the singer was left heartbroken when they learned they had lost the child, and he insists it was the "worst moment" of his life.
He tells Britain's The People newspaper, "One week were were showing off our new nappy (diaper) bags, the next week it was over. I can still remember listening to the baby's heartbeat in a recording from the 12 week scan and thinking 'That's our little one.' We had a due date - October 8...
"We were thinking of names, and we even planned our first Christmas as a family. We were both ready to be dads. Finding out our surrogate had miscarried was like being hit in the face. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I just feel empty and helpless."
Watkins, who discovered the tragic news shortly after finishing a gig with his pop band Steps, wants to try for a child again, adding, "I appreciated a lot more what we have together, and what having this child means. When we do finally get there we'll know how lucky we are."