Smashing Pumpkins star Billy Corgan was left so traumatised by the childhood abuse he suffered at the hands of his father, he once contemplated suicide. The 41-year-old endured long periods of feeling helpless and alienated while growing up in Chicago, Illinois. In a new video, directed by The Lost Boys filmmaker Joel Schumacher for the Jed Foundation's Half Of Us campaign, Corgan recalls his troubled early years. He says, "My family didn't fit into the culture we lived in, and then abuse made me feel even more alienated from what was going on. "Plus, a lot of kids around me were being abused as well, so you didn't think, `Well, I'm different.' "I cut myself, I stayed up all night. You know, I did things with sleep deprivation, and I got into I guess what you would call obsessive-compulsive behaviours these days." As an adult, Corgan has discovered that the best way to cope with depression is by "reaching out to people I can talk to". The rocker's video is being screened online at, and on MTV's college channel MTVU throughout March (08) in an effort to raise awareness of mental health issues among U.S. students.