Heart-throb singer Robbie Williams finds the number of pages the British press devote to him hurtful and laughable at the same time.

The RADIO star insists he would be leading the most incredible double life if every rumour printed about him was true - ranging from performing gay sexual acts to mooring his yacht by himself.

The 30-year-old rants, "Like, one week, before I came back to Britain, I was having an affair with a married actor, an affair with an unmarried actress.

"I was going out with Samantha Mumba, I'd just parked my private yacht in Troon, by myself, without any security, went to the pub, bought everyone a drink, I drank orange juice and then there was a guy that said I sucked his c**k at the Hacienda (club in Manchester, England).

"And at the same time I was supposed to be dating the TV star VALERIE CRUZ. Cos she's the one. Oh, no, I'd finished with her by then cos she wasn't the one any more."

30/11/2004 13:37