Apollonia, who briefly dated Prince in the 1980s, wasn't ready to open up about her time with late singer when he passed away of an accidental drug overdose in April (16), but now she has taken to Facebook to write an open letter to her late friend and mentor detailing how she is dealing with his death.
"My Dear Prince, I have never known you to leave the stage so early," she writes. "4 long, dreadful months have passed since God welcomed you home. I miss you so much, the pain is unbearable, making it hard to breathe.
"Grief, depression, anger, and loneliness are like those bullies who taunted me in grade school. They have been relentless. My life has been a vortex of rage and despair. Waves of sadness washing away the pieces of my broken heart. My own personal hell on Earth."
The 57-year-old was never married to Prince, but she admits she feels like his widow and reveals the former couple was making plans to work together again at his fabled Paisley Park recording studio in Minnesota before he died. Apollonia claims she was supposed to meet up with Prince the week he died and started panicking when she was unable to reach him.
"On the morning of April 21, I woke up to the worst day of my life," she says. "Suddenly my phone began to scream with calls, texts, alerts...! They said something horrible happened inside your home. I turn on CNN. It has to be a hoax."
"After what feels like broken glass ripping at my heart, they confirm my worst nightmare. I touch your sweet face with my fingertips, but it's only my TV screen. The TV is shut off. It remained that way for weeks..."
But she still couldn't avoid speculation surrounding her ex-boyfriend's death and his apparent drug use, revealing she became angry about "The vultures circling your still warm body", the "greed", and "false claims", adding, "Shame on them. I am certain you are watching, having the last laugh because you predicted this. The enemy sends people into our lives just as God does. Be wise enough to know who to let in and who to let go."
Apollonia is still not ready to open up to the media, stating: "My heart needs more time."