Phil Spector's wife is still devastated by the first letter she received from her incarcerated husband - because it details the hell he's experiencing behind bars.
The music mogul was jailed in April (09) for the murder of actress Lana Clarkson and is currently serving a life sentence at Corcoran Prison in Los Angeles - and his wife Rachelle continues to fight for his innocence, insisting the music mogul "could not hurt a fly".
Rachelle Spector wasn't able to visit her husband for a month after his incarceration, due to classification process issues, and still pours over a disturbing letter from him, describing his first weeks behind bars.
In an exclusive interview with U.S. news show 20/20, which was taped earlier this summer (09) and aired on Friday (31Jul09), she read the letter: "It's hell here, the first four days I was on suicide watch and slept naked on the floor."
She sobbed, "He's down to less than 130 pounds and I can't even talk to him or go and see him... I never thought in my wildest dreams this would have happened. He doesn't deserve this."
Spector's wife says she misses her husband so much she sleeps next to the suit the record producer wore on the day he was sentenced. She also wears his wedding band, which was confiscated as he entered prison.
Rachelle staged a bizarre re-enactment of the night Clarkson lost her life for 20/20, insisting the actress shot herself, explaining, "She was holding the gun... in her mouth. She was maybe doing something sexually orientated with it... but it went off accidentally and unfortunately it was a permanent circumstance."
And she's determined to prove her jailed husband "was not in the vicinity of Lana Clarkson when the shot was fired," adding, "He has no blood (sic), he has no gunshot residue, he has no burned or unburned particles."
Rachelle Spector admits her husband has never told her what happened in 2003 on the night Clarkson died and she feels his own testimony will eventually free him. Spector was advised not to testify at his trials by his attorneys.
His wife says, "At some point, I think that (testify) would be a good idea."