Yolanda Hadid considered suicide during her Lyme disease battle but now feels like she is in remission.
Yolanda Hadid considered suicide during her Lyme disease battle.
The 57-year-old reality TV star was diagnosed with the autoimmune disorder in 2012 and admitted that it took such a toll on her mentally and physically that she thought about ending her life.
In an excerpt from her new memoir 'Believe Me: My Battle with the Invisibility of Lyme Disease', obtained by PEOPLE, she writes: ''I take off my clothes and slip into the dark blue ocean, which is cool and comforting. The waves gently wash over my naked body, and I can feel the current tugging at me. Tears pour out of my eyes, roll across my cheeks, and meld with the salt water as I try to still my mind to become one with the water's ebb and flow.
''God please just take me away in a wave. I can't live like this one more day. Please carry my body away. I just want to disappear. My next thought is a clear image of my three children. It shifts my consciousness immediately and that's the only thing that keeps me from letting myself drift and drown.''
Yolanda has three children, Bella and Anwar - who also suffer with Lyme disease - and Gigi.
The former model says she is now in what feels like remission and is looking forward to the future.
She explained: ''As difficult as these past five years have been, I am so grateful that this journey has led me to living in the light. I have had it all and lost it all, only to see that less is more, money can't buy you health or happiness, and one day at a time is good enough.''
Up-and-coming British singer-songwriter Alice Chater unveils her brand new single 'Hourglass'.
With a fourth solo album having just dropped and his 50th birthday celebrations behind him, John Grant kicked off the UK leg of his latest tour in...
Tristan Corrigan on the difficulties of making music within a genre that is so popular.
They've just announced their 2019 70-date world tour and they've dropped a new single and video just to get fans even more excited.
Paloma Faith tests her aim in the video for her new single 'Loyal', directed by Jamie Travis, ahead of the release of album 'The Architect: Zeitgeist...
Seven months after the release of his second album 'Staying At Tamara's', George Ezra unveils the video to his newest single 'Hold My Girl'.
After teaming up with Benny Blanco and Khalid on the song 'Eastside' earlier this year, Halsey returns with her newest single 'Without Me'.
Kesha's latest single is 'Here Comes The Change' from the soundtrack of an important new biographical drama entitled 'On the Basis of Sex'.
From their newest EP 'What Did You Think When You Made Me This Way', Nothing But Thieves drop the lyric video for their single 'Take This Lonely...
The Lumineers honour their friend and hero Tom Petty with a sensational cover of his 1996 song 'Walls' from the 'She's the One' soundtrack.
Watch Olly Murs get his nerd on as he blags his way into an exclusive Snoop Dogg party (where Rowan Atkinson is the bartender) in the video for their...
From 'Happy' to 'Banana Pancakes', these are soaked in positivity.
Mariah Carey is the picture of glamour in the black and white video for her brand new single 'With You'. It's the lead single from her forthcoming...
Eminem draws attention to the negative response his 2017 album 'Revival' received in the video for his latest song 'Venom'; a song recorded for the...
With the recent release of her third, very well received album 'Hunter' just behind her, Anna had plenty of relatively new songs to showcase.