Katie Price flirted with other guys as a ''self-defence mechanism'' when she started suspecting her husband of being unfaithful.
The 39-year-old star was devastated when she found out Kieran Hayler - the father of her two youngest children, Jett, three, and Bunny, two - had had a year long affair with the children's nanny only a couple of years after he cheated on her before and she now admits she started going off the rails when it dawned on her that he was playing away.
She said: ''Obviously I'd begun to have suspicions, which is why I'd checked Kieran's emails. People had suggested to me that he may be up to his old tricks and, as a self-defence mechanism, I'd been flirting with some guys ...
''Yes, I did say I loved them and we did talk about lives together. And yes, maybe that does sound messed up. But Kieran had been f***ing with my head so much I wanted to believe that someone else would want me. I wanted to believe that someone else would be faithful to me.
''Earlier in the year he'd slipped up a few times and I'd caught him out ... I still felt really insecure. It was messing with my head. Deep down, I think I knew what was going on but just couldn't face it. After I realised what was going on, I was all over the place. I have to say I fell off the wagon in spectacular style. I was pretty unimpressed with my behaviour, but have myself back under control now.''
And now Katie - who also has children Harvey, 15, Junior, 12, and Princess, 10, from previous relationships - has decided to divorce Kieran, she wants him to start moving out of the family house but gradually as to make it easier on the kids.
She told The Sun on Sunday newspaper: ''I am going to divorce him for adultery - but I want it to be amicable. I've had it the other way and it's unhealthy. I don't want all this hatred and I want us to maintain a civil relationship for the sake of the kids. That's why he is in a separate room at the house. The plan is that he will move out gradually, for a few nights at first.
''I didn't want to say to him, 'That's it, go now'. It will be hard to see him walk out of that door, because the person who I will see leaving is the Kieran I love and he isn't the same person who has hurt me. He will destroy a life I think could be perfect and leave my family broken again - which is the last thing I want it to be. But sitting here now, I can't see a future for us together.''