Disgraced fashion designer John Galliano was physically ill when he watched a video of his infamous anti-Semitic rant because he felt so sickened by his behaviour.
Galliano was thrown into a downward spiral when he was arrested for launching a racist tirade at a couple during a night out in France in 2010, and he was subsequently fired from his position as head designer at Christian Dior in 2011.
The fashion mogul, who battled alcohol and drug addiction for many years before the incident, insists he does not remember the expletive-filled rant and was physically sick when he was shown a video.
Galliano tells Vanity Fair magazine, "I have been trying to find out why that anger was directed at this race. I now realise that I was so f**king angry and so discontent with myself that I just said the most spiteful thing I could...
"When everyone came over to tell me that I had done these terrible things, I was walking round and round not really knowing what had gone down (happened). My assistant told me about the video. When I saw it, I threw up..."
Galliano checked into a rehab facility in Arizona in 2011 to kick his addictions for good, and he is convinced the scandal was the wake up call he needed to get his life back on track.
He adds, "It sounds a bit bizarre, but I am so grateful for what did happen. I have learnt so much about myself. I have rediscovered the little boy who had the hunger to create, which I think I had lost. I am alive."