British rocker Paul Ryder suffered two nervous breakdowns after his band Happy Mondays split.
The bassist formed the cult group with his brother, frontman Shaun, in the early 1980s but was left "shell-shocked" when the band fell apart in 1993 due to his brother's drug addiction issues.
And he only began to accept his days of rock 'n' roll were over after lengthy bouts of therapy.
Ryder, who will rejoin his Happy Mondays bandmates for a comeback tour in May (12), tells Mojo magazine, "I had two nervous breakdowns. I didn't know what to do with myself. It was like I lost my balance. Until five or six years ago, when I started getting therapy, I wasn't getting closure."