The Whole Ten Yards

"Terrible"

The Whole Ten Yards Review


The Whole Ten Yards is an awful movie. And yet, as bad as it is, I think I may have learned something from it. According to Bruce Willis's Jimmy Tudeski, every car built since 1985 has a trunk release! Did you know that? Of course, that bit of information may actually be BS. And in the context of this movie, it wouldn't surprise me. This lame sequel to the original hit is about as witless as Jimmy's nutty automotive gibberish.

In the sequel to the sleeper hit The Whole Nine Yards, Jimmy has abandoned his hit-man lifestyle and is enjoying retirement with his new wife Jill (Amanda Peet) in their quiet Baja hideout. He's content sharpening his Martha Stewart homemaking skills by cooking pot roasts, caring for his pet chickens, and cleaning house. But this way of life doesn't work for Jill. She wants to reprise her husband's previous life, and desires nothing more than to shoot a worthy piece of ass. Meanwhile, back in the states, Jimmy's former neighbor, Oz Oseransky (Matthew Perry) has relocated to Los Angeles where his dental practice and marriage to Jimmy's ex-wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) appears to be thriving.

Though prosperous, the overly paranoid Oz believes the Hungarian mob will someday track him down. He has outfitted his Brentwood estate with hidden cameras, security monitors and enough artillery to fight off a small army. His fears soon become reality when mob boss Lazlo Gogolak (a terribly-cast Kevin Pollack) is released from prison and arrives at Oz's doorstep looking to avenge the death of his favorite son Yanni. When Cynthia is taken hostage by Lazlo and his henchmen, Oz high-tails it to Baja looking to drag Jimmy back into the business and help get Cynthia back.

As Jimmy, Oz, and Lazlo engage in their cat and mouse game, the wildly uneven action teeters unsuccessfully between Los Angeles and Mexico. George Gallo's inept script contains none of the wit that helped make these characters so enduring in the original film. In fact, much of what we get here is a bunch of tiresome bickering and backstabbing that annoys much more that it amuses. Are we really supposed to find an argument about trunk releases funny, or laugh when Oz bangs his head against the wall out of frustration? This silliness has no purpose in this film; Ten Yards is dead on arrival.

The question begs to be asked: Why bother with this film in the first place? Pretty in Pink director Howard Deutch takes these characters on an insignificant journey that leads nowhere - that is - unless you count the tacked-on conclusion wherein the first 90 minutes are explained away. Ten Yards lacks any sort of coherent style, which is evident by Deutch's yearning to include pointless action sequences where cars are blown up for no apparent reason. The highly paid and talented cast mutters through the material with little zeal or creativity.

This sequel refuses to go the extra yard that its title would suggest. Avoid Ten Yards' BS at all costs.

The DVD includes one extra, a commentary with Deutch and writer George Gallo.

Think the audience will find them?



The Whole Ten Yards

Facts and Figures

Run time: 98 mins

In Theaters: Friday 9th April 2004

Box Office USA: $16.2M

Distributed by: Warner Bros.

Production compaines: Warner Bros.

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 4%
Fresh: 5 Rotten: 113

IMDB: 5.4 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Jimmy, as Oz, as Jill, Kevin Pollak as Lazlo, as Strabo, as Zevo, as Cynthia, as Julie

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

Contactmusic 2017 Exclusive

New Movies

Patriots Day Movie Review

Patriots Day Movie Review

The third time's a charm for Mark Wahlberg and director Peter Berg, who previously teamed...

A Cure for Wellness Movie Review

A Cure for Wellness Movie Review

It's no surprise that this creep-out horror thriller is packed with whizzy visual invention, since...

It's Only the End of the World Movie Review

It's Only the End of the World Movie Review

At just 27 years old, Canadian filmmaker Xavier Dolan has an almost overwhelming set of...

Hidden Figures Movie Review

Hidden Figures Movie Review

This film recounts such a great true story that we don't mind the fact that...

The Founder Movie Review

The Founder Movie Review

This is the story of Ray Kroc, the man who created the concept of McDonald's....

John Wick: Chapter 2 Movie Review

John Wick: Chapter 2 Movie Review

Keanu Reeves picks up his supremely efficient hitman immediately where the 2015 original left him:...

Fences Movie Review

Fences Movie Review

After winning Tony Awards on Broadway, Denzel Washington and Viola Davis reteam for a film...

Advertisement
The Lego Batman Movie Movie Review

The Lego Batman Movie Movie Review

A spin-off from 2014's awesome The Lego Movie, this raucously paced action-comedy is proof that...

The Space Between Us Movie Review

The Space Between Us Movie Review

While the premise of this movie makes it look like a sci-fi adventure, the truth...

Toni Erdmann Movie Review

Toni Erdmann Movie Review

On paper, the idea of a two-hour 40-minute German comedy may not seem very promising,...

Gold Movie Review

Gold Movie Review

Based on a true story, this lively and sometimes outrageous adventure is packed with twists...

Loving Movie Review

Loving Movie Review

While this film tackles a huge issue in the history of race relations in America,...

T2 Trainspotting Movie Review

T2 Trainspotting Movie Review

It's been 20 years since we last saw four freewheeling young junkies from Edinburgh spiral...

Hacksaw Ridge Movie Review

Hacksaw Ridge Movie Review

Based on an astounding true story, this battlefield drama mixes warm emotion with intense action...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.