The Ranch

"Good"

The Ranch Review


Anyone who's ever seen any documentary footage of real Nevada brothels (or has been to one personally -- hey, we don't judge), knows that the ladies that typically work there are hardly mistakable for Hollywood starlets.

Never mind that. If you're willing to suspend disbelief -- completely and utterly -- you might find The Ranch a curious diversion.

Finding information about The Ranch is a bit tricky -- and given the presence of reasonably big star Amy Madigan and director Susan Seidelman (Desperately Seeking Susan), there's a small amount of credibility here. It appears that Madigan was meant to anchor this not as a movie but as a TV series for HBO or Showtime (based on the copious amount of nudity and the setting, seeing as it's set in a brothel and all). The show didn't make it, so rather than drop the footage into the dumpster, the producers figured they'd release it as a 90-minute "movie" on DVD. The result is a film that feels an awful lot like a long TV show -- with no real closure to any of the half-dozen stories it starts up with.

The two fleshiest stories revolve around one hooker (Samantha Ferris) who is retiring to get married, only that doesn't go as planned, and a bit about a former Hollywood actress (Nicki Micheaux) run out of town and forced into prostitution as a last resort. The remainder of the gals at the Diamond Ranch get small stories of their own, from the business-is-business madam (Madigan) to the raunchy lady in the schoolgirl outfit (Paige Moss) to the slightly older divorcee (Jessica Collins) who has to balance social engagements (and the inevitable spotting of a client away from the ranch) and motherhood with, well, screwing guys for money. Every girl (sans Madigan) has her day in the bedroom: Those looking for cheesecake have come to the right place, especially with the unrated version of the DVD.

The film/show is well-acted and shows some promise -- it's something a lot of people might have watched as a regular series, though no one would have admitted it. Unfortunately, as a movie, the whole affair is a bit cockeyed, and it just doesn't come off like a movie. Still, considering they put My Big Fat Greek Life on DVD, you could do worse than checking out this aborted TV series on home video, as long as you treat it as such.



The Ranch

Facts and Figures

Run time: 90 mins

In Theaters: Monday 5th July 2004

Distributed by: MGM Home Entertainment

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 3 / 5

IMDB: 5.1 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Shayna, as Kim, as Taylor, as Velvet

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Colossal Movie Review

Colossal Movie Review

It's rare to find a movie that so defiantly refuses to be put into a...

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

It's unlikely that Guy Ritchie could make a boring movie if he wanted to. This...

Snatched Movie Review

Snatched Movie Review

It doesn't really matter that the script for this lively action-comedy is paper thin: teaming...

Jawbone Movie Review

Jawbone Movie Review

Boxing movies aren't usually this thoughtful. Sure, there are plenty of punchy moments in the...

Whisky Galore! Movie Review

Whisky Galore! Movie Review

Scottish filmmaker Gillies MacKinnon (Hideous Kinky) remakes the 1949 Ealing comedy classic, although it's difficult...

Alien: Covenant Movie Review

Alien: Covenant Movie Review

Master filmmaker Ridley Scott is back to continue the story 10 years after the events...

The Journey (2017) Movie Review

The Journey (2017) Movie Review

A fictionalised account of real events, this drama is reminiscent of Peter Morgan's work in...

Advertisement
Sleepless Movie Review

Sleepless Movie Review

In remaking the 2011 French thriller Sleepless Night, the filmmakers have dumbed down both the...

Unlocked Movie Review

Unlocked Movie Review

By injecting a steady sense of fun, this slick but mindless action thriller both holds...

Lady Macbeth Movie Review

Lady Macbeth Movie Review

A seriously impressive feature directing debut with a star-making central performance, this period British drama...

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Movie Review

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Movie Review

It was never going to be easy to match the impact of 2014's Guardians of...

The Promise Movie Review

The Promise Movie Review

The director of Hotel Rwanda, Terry George, turns to another humanitarian horror: the systematic murder...

Their Finest Movie Review

Their Finest Movie Review

Skilfully written, directed and acted, this offbeat British period film tells a story that catches...

Unforgettable Movie Review

Unforgettable Movie Review

With heavy echoes of trashy thrillers like Fatal Attraction, this movie overcomes its painfully simplistic...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.