The Punisher (2004)

"Bad"

The Punisher (2004) Review


Over the course of two hours, the Punisher, Marvel Comics' black-clad antihero (played by Thomas Jane -- now rebranded as "Tom Jane") kills more people than cardiovascular disease. Bad guys get their head split in two, knives in the throat, and shot in all kinds of sensitive places. So, why will action junkies, like myself, feel like they've been duped? Read on.

The plot stars promisingly enough. Frank Castle (Jane, *61, The Sweetest Thing) is an FBI undercover agent, the kind of guy who's so good that the Bureau moves him around for his own protection. At his final job in Tampa, he busts up a major weapons deal that kills the son of powerful crime lord Howard Saint (poor, poor John Travolta).

Saint isn't exactly the forgiving type. He dispatches his squadron of well-dressed goons to Castle's family reunion in Puerto Rico, where they proceed to kill everybody, including Castle's wife and young son. Through a miracle of physics and screenwriter's pluck, Frank survives. And, big surprise, he's pissed.

Castle returns to Florida months later, and he soon stocks up on firearms like an overly ambitious Travis Bickle, dyes his hair black and drops his voice an octave. He recruits a member of Saint's team (Eddie Jemison) to give him the inside scoop, and gets to work on making Saint's life a living hell.

In the meantime, director and co-screenwriter Jonathan Hensleigh begins to deflate the character's stoic aura. You would think that a man with such a death-happy agenda would want to lurk in the misty nighttime and hide in the shadows. Nope, Castle invades an afternoon press conference at the Tampa police station to announce his return from the dead. That's not all. It turns out that the man who will later name himself The Punisher is renting an apartment. And he has neighbors! Neighbors with issues!

Castle's floormates, which include the newly single Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, are supposed to lend a human dimension to his reign of bloodshed. All it does is cut the movie off at the knees, especially when the Romijn-Stamos character reaches out to Castle and acts like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting. "I know what it's like to make your memories go away," she says, consolingly. "Good memories can change your life."

Huh?

The Punisher (made into a film previously as a bad Dolph Lundgren vehicle) is plagued with other fatal flaws, including the character himself. He's killing for his family, but the two mementos that are his trademarks (his father's 1911 Colt handguns and the signature skull shirt, a gift from his son), rarely make an appearance. In one scene, The Punisher is playing elaborate mind games with Saint, the next he's shooting people at kissing range. The Punisher doesn't have his own style, but is instead a composite of other movie characters. He has Bickle's dementia, Schwarzenegger's preparation scene from Commando, Batman's tolerance for pain. Even Jane looks as if he's borrowed his pecs from Hugh Jackman.

That inconsistent, slapdash feeling even extends to the action scenes, which have no sense of coherence. One scene, there's a stoic gunfight. The next, colorful villains, apparently out of the old Batman TV series, appear. The finale is a doozy, where before hunting down half of the Miami underworld, our hero has the time to rig up an elaborate, football field-size series of explosives that bear his skull logo. No surprise, a similar feat was done in last year's awful Daredevil, another Marvel adaptation.

The Punisher has such a loose grasp of its own reality that you can't look away. It's exciting to see whether, as part of his domestic life, Hensleigh will have the Punisher go food shopping at the Circle K (I'm not telling). Words can't describe the scene in which The Punisher's fight with a huge Russian assassin is coupled with his roommates dancing and lip-synching to an opera. This movie is tailor-made for bored teenagers working on their wit or devotees of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Those are not qualities to build a franchise around. Here's hoping.

Ah, just what you wanted: More Punishment in the form of an extended cut of the film on DVD, which inserts 17 minutes of additional material (included an animated version of the opening which was never shot) into the film. A comic book gallery and making-of featurette round out the disc.

Just call me Jane.



Facts and Figures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

Cast & Crew

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Churchill Movie Review

Churchill Movie Review

This drama about the iconic British prime minister tells a darkly personal story set over...

Gifted Movie Review

Gifted Movie Review

This is one of those films that dances right up to the edge of soapy...

Whitney: Can I Be Me Movie Review

Whitney: Can I Be Me Movie Review

Notorious British filmmaker Nick Broomfield teams up with Austrian music documentary producer Rudi Dolezal to...

The Mummy Movie Review

The Mummy Movie Review

To launch their new Dark Universe franchise, Universal has taken an approach that mixes murky...

My Cousin Rachel Movie Review

My Cousin Rachel Movie Review

Daphne du Maurier's 1951 mystery-romance novel has been adapted for theatre, radio, TV and film,...

Wilson Movie Review

Wilson Movie Review

It's never helpful when a comedy becomes a bit too smug about its own quirkiness....

Interlude in Prague Movie Review

Interlude in Prague Movie Review

A fictionalised story from the life of Wolfgang Mozart, this lavishly produced period drama is...

Advertisement
The Hippopotamus Movie Review

The Hippopotamus Movie Review

This British satirical comedy may be a bit of a mess, but since it's based...

Detour Movie Review

Detour Movie Review

This may look like a rather typical American indie thriller, but British filmmaker Christopher Smith...

Wonder Woman Movie Review

Wonder Woman Movie Review

Boldly optimistic, this action-packed adventure breathes fresh life into the DC universe with a welcome...

Baywatch Movie Review

Baywatch Movie Review

Clearly, it's a risky proposition adapting a cheesy vintage TV series for the big screen:...

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Movie Review

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Movie Review

Subtitled Salazar's Revenge in the UK, this fifth film in the long-running series never quite...

Colossal Movie Review

Colossal Movie Review

It's rare to find a movie that so defiantly refuses to be put into a...

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

It's unlikely that Guy Ritchie could make a boring movie if he wanted to. This...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.