The Mummy

"Terrible"

The Mummy Review


Normally, when a movie is really bad, the best part of watching the film is watching the previews. When watching The Mummy, Stephen Sommers "not-quite-a-remake-but-really-is" of the 1921 version, I didn't even get that satisfaction. I think one of the previews was good, but not good enough for me to remember its title. I remember that Jan de Bont is coming out with a new chic horror film called The Haunting or something equally cheesy, which looks to be worse than his last one. I also remember seeing a preview for a new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie that didn't even dare put his name on it after him having been in the double-trouble combination of Eraser and Jingle all the Way.

So, when the movie was as bad as the previews, I was not a happy camper.

No, to dispel a rumor it is not a remake of the 1921 film with the same plot, same title, and same main idea. To those people in charge of movie studios who are telling me this, I ask you: what is it?

Going on with my ripping the film to shreds, I will say that it has as cheesy of a plot as The Mummy (no matter what year) has ever had: "it" boy Brendon Fraser (portraying a French Legion Soldier who happens to be an American) has to save the world with British-thief Jonathan (John Hannah, hopefully no relation to the talented actress Daryl) and more-frigid-than-Antarctica archeologist/librarian Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) have to save the world from a very dumb, very ugly "mummy" (although he ends up with a fairly good complexion and a full bunch of skin before he is killed), played by Arnold Vosloo.

To all of these people I say this: is this the best you could do?

Let's face it, every time that Brendan Fraser tries to do a mainstream role he either fails miserably or pseudo-fails. In George of the Jungle, which I will only now admit to seeing, he made something that was already stupid look dumber. In Blast from the Past, a mediocre movie due to its script, he almost took a wrecking ball to it.

Vosloo and Hannah are people that I've seen before but haven't remembered enough of to pay attention. Stephen Sommers is someone who continues to be a thorn in my side after killing two Mark Twain books and then coming out with Deep Rising.

Sommers' very own tailor made script shows that people should not buy books on "How to Write your Screenplay in 21 Days" or "How to Make a Movie that Sells" on a matter of principle. Sommers tries and fails at juggling Adventure, Romance, Comedy, Action, and Horror around all at once. In the desperate attempt to keep the balls from hitting him on the head, he ends up placing one-liners right next to screams of terror as a flesh-eating... BEETLE?... devours someone from the inside. Also we get to see Rachel Weisz go from sub-zero to just plain zero as she "warms up" to Brendan Fraser.

This is a film at which I took my own advice. My advice: always get a head start on an angry mob. Hence, I watched the last thirty seconds from the back of the theatre.

As promised by the preview for The Mummy, the special effects are good. They are not, however, anything compared to what we normally see in the pre-summer gameshow. And, when I say special effects are good, you know what that normally means... It did also live up to its tagline, but not in the way intended. Let me tell you, personally, BEWARE OF THE MUMMY.

Mummy dearest.



The Mummy

Facts and Figures

Run time: 125 mins

In Theaters: Friday 7th May 1999

Box Office Worldwide: $415.9M

Budget: $80M

Distributed by: Universal Pictures

Production compaines: Universal Pictures, Alphaville Films

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 55%
Fresh: 46 Rotten: 37

IMDB: 7.0 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Richard O'Connell, as Evelyn Carnahan, as Jonathan Carnahan, as High Priest Imhotep, as Beni Gabor, as Ardeth Bay, as Dr. Allen Chamberlain, as Dr. Terrence Bey, Bernard Fox as Captain Winston Havlock, as Anck-Su Namun, as Mr. Henderson, as Mr. Daniels, Tuc Watkins as Mr. Burns, as Warden Gad Hassan, Aharon Ipalé as Pharaoh Seti I, as Hook, Mohammed Afifi as Hangman, Abderrahim El Aadili as Camel Trader, Jake Arnott as Mummy, Mason Ball as Mummy, Isobel Brook as Mummy, James Traherne Burton as Mummy, Peter Chequer as Mummy, Porl Smith as Mummy, Ian Warner as Mummy

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Dunkirk Movie Review

Dunkirk Movie Review

Britain's epic 1940 evacuation of Dunkirk has been dramatised on film before, but no one...

Killing Ground Movie Review

Killing Ground Movie Review

From Australia, this dark and edgy thriller is skilfully made by writer-director Damien Power to...

City of Ghosts Movie Review

City of Ghosts Movie Review

This award-winning documentary plays like a thriller as it traces the work of a group...

Cars 3 Movie Review

Cars 3 Movie Review

It's been six years since the last Cars movie (there were two Planes movies in...

The Beguiled Movie Review

The Beguiled Movie Review

In her inimitable loose style, Sofia Coppola remakes the 1971 Clint Eastwood movie from a...

War for the Planet of the Apes Movie Review

War for the Planet of the Apes Movie Review

The surprisingly thoughtful prequel trilogy comes to a powerful conclusion with this robust, dramatic thriller,...

It Comes At Night Movie Review

It Comes At Night Movie Review

This sharply original horror film not only approaches its premise from an unexpected angle, but...

Advertisement
Okja Movie Review

Okja Movie Review

As Tilda Swinton reteams with her Snowpiercer director, Korea's Bong Joon Ho, it's perhaps unsurprising...

Spider-Man: Homecoming Movie Review

Spider-Man: Homecoming Movie Review

This may be the third reboot of this franchise in 15 years, risking audience exhaustion,...

Despicable Me 3 Movie Review

Despicable Me 3 Movie Review

Actually the fourth film in the series (don't forget the prequel Minions), this animated super-villain...

Baby Driver Movie Review

Baby Driver Movie Review

Wildly energetic and so cool it hurts, this action movie has been put together in...

All Eyez On Me Movie Review

All Eyez On Me Movie Review

There's a clear sense that this Tupac Shakur biopic is hoping to build on the...

Hampstead Movie Review

Hampstead Movie Review

Deliberately appealing to older audiences, this undemanding comedy-drama comes with a hint of social relevance...

The Book of Henry Movie Review

The Book of Henry Movie Review

Apparently, this offbeat script had been making the rounds in Hollywood for some 20 years...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.