The Amityville Horror (2005)

"Very Good"

The Amityville Horror (2005) Review


Don't let the blaring "based on a true story" PR fool you - the newest incarnation of The Amityville Horror is more fake than the creepy realtor's smile. This Amityville Horror out-fakes the first film and tries for the same results. The new one just ups the dosage.

The new Amityville Horror decided that it wasn't enough to have a possibly possessed house that slowly unfolds into madness. No, modern audiences need a little bit more caffeine to make it through an hour and 40 minutes.

From frame one, Amityville goes for pure creepiness points. It opens with the graphic shooting that brought the Long Island mansion into the price range of a Deer Park contractor (George Lutz, played by Ryan Reynolds, playing James Brolin) and doesn't pass go on the way directly to candyland. The realtor looks like Samara will kill her kid if she doesn't make the spot move off the market, water stains are on the ceiling (since when did water become the new blood?), the paint job looks like it's been bled too many times, and there's even little things going bump in the day while the couple looks in the basement.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, The Amityville Horror is pure grade B Wisconsin cheese, and for the 17-24 demographic, it works like a charm.

The new film is all about the brief eye candy. It's been perfected with enough graphic effects, excellent make-up, and enough metal fetish gear that would make Marilyn Manson have second thoughts. The frights are good enough to make teenyboppers bounce right off their seats and into the laps of their equally terrified dates.

If you're someone who can't stand the cheese in movies - someone who looks at an off angle shot and just blandly waits for the music to spike - you won't be able to stand Amityville. But if you're in the rank and file of horror movie fan -- the type that loves to watch the cute hippie/stoner babysitter get turned into a frightened mess by a slaughtered six-year-old sociopath - then Amityville will work for you. Just don't be that dumb guy who thinks it's actually real.

Stop with the yelling!



Facts and Figures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 3.5 / 5

Cast & Crew

Director:

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

After the thunderous reception for J.J. Abrams' Episode VII: The Force Awakens two years ago,...

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Like the 2015 original, this comedy plays merrily with cliches to tell a silly story...

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

There's a somewhat contrived jauntiness to this blending of fact and fiction that may leave...

Ferdinand Movie Review

Ferdinand Movie Review

This animated comedy adventure is based on the beloved children's book, which was published in...

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Director Dave McCary makes a superb feature debut with this offbeat black comedy, which explores...

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

A dramatisation of the real-life clash between tennis icons Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs,...

Shot Caller Movie Review

Shot Caller Movie Review

There isn't much subtlety to this prison thriller, but it's edgy enough to hold the...

Advertisement
The Disaster Artist Movie Review

The Disaster Artist Movie Review

A hilariously outrageous story based on real events, this film recounts the making of the...

Stronger Movie Review

Stronger Movie Review

Based on a true story about the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, this looks like one...

Only the Brave Movie Review

Only the Brave Movie Review

Based on a genuinely moving true story, this film undercuts the realism by pushing its...

Wonder Movie Review

Wonder Movie Review

This film may be based on RJ Palacio's fictional bestseller, but it approaches its story...

Happy End  Movie Review

Happy End Movie Review

Austrian auteur Michael Haneke isn't known for his light touch, but rather for hard-hitting, award-winning...

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Seemingly from out of nowhere, this film generates perhaps the biggest smile of any movie...

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

A Victorian thriller with rather heavy echoes of Jack the Ripper, this film struggles to...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.