Swimfan

"Bad"

Swimfan Review


Erika Christensen goes from zoned-out druggie (Traffic) to lame vanilla psycho in Swimfan, unequivocally one of the worst films of the year.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. A cute young gal named Madison (Christensen) moves to a New Jersey town and instantly becomes smitten with star swimmer Ben (Jesse Bradford). But there's trouble: Ben's got a girlfriend (Shiri Appleby), and he's got a rough past... trouble with drugs and a stint in juvie. Now he's cleaned up and is eyeing a scholarship to Stanford, but an ill-conceived one-nighter with Madison lands him in all kinds of trouble once again.

Ben tries to put on the brakes, but to no avail. Soon, Madison (Internet nickname "SwimFan85," the working title of the film) is sending racy e-mails, visiting Ben's house unannounced, and offing his friends, thus injuring his chances at that scholarship. Damn stalkers.

Well, it's no Soul Survivors. Which is to say, at least the plot ostensibly makes sense, even if it is wholly uninteresting for its entire 82-minute running time. Swimfan spins its wheels (or should I say, flaps its flippers) without generating a single thrill except for one sudden-hand-slap-to-a-desk and one sudden-swimming-along-in-the-pool-head-bonk-with-a-corpse moment. When we aren't bored silly, we're treated to some of the most asinine excuses for plot developments ever put to celluloid. Do cops really ride in the back of a car with their prisoners? Only in Jersey, huh?

The cast is uniformly bland as well. Christensen exhibits no trace of the spark she showed in Traffic, though clueless direction from John Polson (a reformed actor who most recently played a thug in Mission: Impossible 2) can't have helped. For his part, Bradford comes off nothing like the "troubled past" teen his character is supposed to be. This mini-Freddie Prinze Jr. is about as edgy as tapioca. An annoying Cribs-inspired jump-around/back/forward editing style only makes the movie's weaknesses more visible.

I could go on about Swimfan's flaws, but why bother? In closing, I will simply point out the movie's biggest goof: If I was Ben, I'd dump that skank of a girlfriend and go for the blond! She's way hotter, dude, and psychos are great in the sack. Or the pool.

Why not take a dip?



Swimfan

Facts and Figures

Run time: 85 mins

In Theaters: Friday 6th September 2002

Box Office USA: $28.3M

Distributed by: 20th Century Fox

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 14%
Fresh: 13 Rotten: 78

IMDB: 4.9 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Producer: Joseph M. Caracciolo Jr., ,

Starring: as Ben Cronin, as Madison Bell, as Amy Miller, as Carla Cronin, as Randy, as Josh, as Coach Simkins, as Detective John Zabel, Phyllis Somerville as Aunt Gretchen Christopher, as Christopher Dante, as Jake's Nurse

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Colossal Movie Review

Colossal Movie Review

It's rare to find a movie that so defiantly refuses to be put into a...

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Movie Review

It's unlikely that Guy Ritchie could make a boring movie if he wanted to. This...

Snatched Movie Review

Snatched Movie Review

It doesn't really matter that the script for this lively action-comedy is paper thin: teaming...

Jawbone Movie Review

Jawbone Movie Review

Boxing movies aren't usually this thoughtful. Sure, there are plenty of punchy moments in the...

Whisky Galore! Movie Review

Whisky Galore! Movie Review

Scottish filmmaker Gillies MacKinnon (Hideous Kinky) remakes the 1949 Ealing comedy classic, although it's difficult...

Alien: Covenant Movie Review

Alien: Covenant Movie Review

Master filmmaker Ridley Scott is back to continue the story 10 years after the events...

The Journey (2017) Movie Review

The Journey (2017) Movie Review

A fictionalised account of real events, this drama is reminiscent of Peter Morgan's work in...

Advertisement
Sleepless Movie Review

Sleepless Movie Review

In remaking the 2011 French thriller Sleepless Night, the filmmakers have dumbed down both the...

Unlocked Movie Review

Unlocked Movie Review

By injecting a steady sense of fun, this slick but mindless action thriller both holds...

Lady Macbeth Movie Review

Lady Macbeth Movie Review

A seriously impressive feature directing debut with a star-making central performance, this period British drama...

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Movie Review

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Movie Review

It was never going to be easy to match the impact of 2014's Guardians of...

The Promise Movie Review

The Promise Movie Review

The director of Hotel Rwanda, Terry George, turns to another humanitarian horror: the systematic murder...

Their Finest Movie Review

Their Finest Movie Review

Skilfully written, directed and acted, this offbeat British period film tells a story that catches...

Unforgettable Movie Review

Unforgettable Movie Review

With heavy echoes of trashy thrillers like Fatal Attraction, this movie overcomes its painfully simplistic...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.