Ring Around the Rosie

"Terrible"

Ring Around the Rosie Review


Wow. Sometimes I wonder, I really really wonder, how movies like this get made. Writer/director Rubi Zack has been a first assistant director for a few years, working on films like Jewish Vendetta and various Red Shoe Diaries episodes. The he (she?) wrote a script, if that's what you can call this, and someone put up the money for the movie to be made. Then someone suggested Tom Sizemore in a leading role. And someone said to change the name from Fear Itself to, ahem, Ring Around the Rosie. It just does downhill from there.

If you rent this DVD -- and I'm betting you won't -- you'll be scratching your head from the start. The film begins with a wide-eyed Gina Philips (that siren standard of many a TV drama) as she and her hubby (Randall Batinkoff) inherit a spooky farmhouse from her dead grandmother. (Or maybe he's her boyfriend, I'm not sure, because he promptly vanishes from the farm and the movie after two quick sex scenes with Gina.) Unfortunately for Ms. Philips, she's also inherited the farm's caretaker, played by Sizemore. Then Gina's sister (Jenny Mollen) arrives. And, in the biggest impossibility I've seen in years, she's wooed into Sizemore's arms because he helps her a) learn how to chop wood and b) learn how not to fall off of a swing. Hey, maybe the little blonde girl deserves big Tom.

Eventually this devolves into another psycho killer flick set in a remote location, and I was quickly reminded of the similarly awful Cold Creek Manor. Rosie has two primary differences: First is that Philips just might be imagining all of this, including her sister and Sizemore. Or maybe not. Second is that Zack at least doesn't have the street cred of Mike Figgis, so at least there's no enormous letdown like you get with a big name director.

Rosie's got not reason to exist, and I've got little doubt that if anyone even bothers to read this review, they'll be a member of Zack's immediate family. Sorry, mom.



Ring Around the Rosie

Facts and Figures

In Theaters: Wednesday 31st May 2006

Distributed by: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Production compaines: Hollywood Media Bridge

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 3.2 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Rubi Zack

Producer: Alex Barder, Lawrence Silverstein, Rubi Zack

Starring: as Karen Baldwin, as Pierce, as Jeff, as Wendy Baldwin, as Nanna, Krystal Rohrer as Young Wendy, Marc Lynn as Sheriff, as Young Karen, Martin Joswick as Messenger, Carlene Moore as Secretary #1, Cynthia Alvarado as Secretary #2

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

After the thunderous reception for J.J. Abrams' Episode VII: The Force Awakens two years ago,...

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Like the 2015 original, this comedy plays merrily with cliches to tell a silly story...

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

There's a somewhat contrived jauntiness to this blending of fact and fiction that may leave...

Ferdinand Movie Review

Ferdinand Movie Review

This animated comedy adventure is based on the beloved children's book, which was published in...

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Director Dave McCary makes a superb feature debut with this offbeat black comedy, which explores...

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

A dramatisation of the real-life clash between tennis icons Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs,...

Shot Caller Movie Review

Shot Caller Movie Review

There isn't much subtlety to this prison thriller, but it's edgy enough to hold the...

Advertisement
The Disaster Artist Movie Review

The Disaster Artist Movie Review

A hilariously outrageous story based on real events, this film recounts the making of the...

Stronger Movie Review

Stronger Movie Review

Based on a true story about the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, this looks like one...

Only the Brave Movie Review

Only the Brave Movie Review

Based on a genuinely moving true story, this film undercuts the realism by pushing its...

Wonder Movie Review

Wonder Movie Review

This film may be based on RJ Palacio's fictional bestseller, but it approaches its story...

Happy End  Movie Review

Happy End Movie Review

Austrian auteur Michael Haneke isn't known for his light touch, but rather for hard-hitting, award-winning...

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Seemingly from out of nowhere, this film generates perhaps the biggest smile of any movie...

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

A Victorian thriller with rather heavy echoes of Jack the Ripper, this film struggles to...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.