Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse

"Unbearable"

Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse Review


In an era of resurgent zombie-flick creativity that has seen the likes of "28 Days Later" and this year's "Dawn of the Dead" remake, the leaden mindlessness of "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" is nothing short of pathetic.

Having burned through most vague ties to its videogame roots in the unwatchable first "Resident Evil" -- an inept, logic-impaired, plotless wonder of unmitigated noise, cheap scares and endless ammunition -- this sequel begins with the biggest opening-scene cliché in all zombiedom: a quiet day in the suburbs where chaos will soon reign.

Underneath this blissful berg (which returning writer Paul W.S. Anderson seems to have forgotten he showed destroyed in Part One) is the lab where the global-evil Umbrella Corporation's virus experiments went so very wrong back in 2002. Foolishly re-opened to learn "what went on down there," out pours an army of the undead, and apparently there are only two people who really know how to fight them -- slinky, half-naked, heavily-armed 105-lb. hotties Milla Jovovich (the original movie's survivor) and Sienna Guillory ("Love Actually").

Devoid of personalities but always ready to mow down or kung-fu kick any hoards of loping flesh-chompers coming their way, they join forces, during a shootout with genetically engineered uber-zombies, when Jovovich (who has just emerged from a coma) jumps a motorcycle through an abandoned church's stained-glass window for no apparent reason.

Offered a way out of the now locked-down city if they rescue an Umbrella scientist's little girl, the tough chicks and their crews of expendable extras are soon racing against the clock too, since the crooked corporation is going to nuke the place at dawn -- and, in one of the movie's many impossibly stupid and nonsensical plot defects, "make it look like an accident."

Overflowing with off-the-shelf action-hack staples (gratuitous slow-motion, catch phrases punctuated by cocking a shotgun), burdened by tiresome stereotypes (Mike Epps tags along as a token ghetto wisecracker), and directed with an ironic lack of narrative or cinematic sense by former cinematographer Alexander Witt, the only way "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" could look good would be by comparing this limp excuse for an action movie to its wholly inept and unrestrained predecessor. And even that race it would be a photo finish.



Facts and Figures

Genre: Horror/Suspense

Box Office Worldwide: $129.4M

Budget: $45M

Production compaines: Constantin Film, Impact Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 0.5 / 5

Cast & Crew

Director: Alexander Witt

Starring: as Alice, as Jill Valentine, as Carlos Olivera, as Major Cain, as Angie Ashford, as Sgt. Peyton Wells (as Raz Adoti), as Dr. Ashford, as L.J., as Terri Morales, as Nemesis, as Nicholai Ginovaeff, as Dr. Isaacs, Dave Nichols as Captain Henderson, Stefan Hayes as Yuri Loginova, Geoffrey Pounsett as Mackenzie, Shaun Austin-Olsen as Priest, Geny Walters as Mrs. Priest, Megan Fahlenbock as Marla Mapes, Robert Morelli as Director, as Assistant, Chris Benson as Lance Halloran, Martin Martinuzzi as Overworked Detective, Brad Borbridge as Overworked Sergeant, Frank Chiesurin as Sniper, Ron Benjamin as Bum, Kevin Hare as Home Owner / Scientist, Heather Dick as Older Woman, Alex Courey as Suit #1, John Detoro as Suit #2, Billy Khoury as Suit #3, Sava Drayton as Suit #4, Nicole Ann St. Hill as Undead Gaudy Hooker, Ricardo Betancourt as Burly Cop #1, Ted Ludzik as Burly Cop #2, Michelle Latimer as Tech #1, Catherine Burdon as Tech #2, Rebecca Sims as Undead Little Girl, Christopher Weedon as Undead Little Boy #1, Billy Parrott as Security Guard, Derek Aasland as Featured Graveyard Undead 1 (as Derek Asland) / Featured "Surplus" Undead #3, Richard Harte as Featured Graveyard Undead 2 / Featured Rooftop Undead #2, Simon Girard as Chopper Pilot #1, Dean Copkov as Chopper Pilot #2, Jeff White as Chopper Pilot #4, Tim Burd as Refugee #1, Natalie Charles as Refugee #2, Pierre Henry as Screaming Soldier, Jim Codrington as Lieutenant, Deborah Valente as Tech, Malcolm Fiddick as Reflection Undead, Malcolm Xerxes as Featured City Hall Undead #1, Michy Gustavia as Featured City Hall Undead #2, Shane Mackinnon as Featured City Hall Undead #3, Ed Fielding as Featured City Hall Undead #4, Stephen R. Hart as Featured City Hall Undead #5 (as Stephen Hart), Sandi Stahlbrand as Reporter #1, Christopher Marren as Guard (as Chris Marren), Tom Gerhardt as Zombie Dad, Amber Marshall as Daughter, Venice Grant as Undead Stripper #1, Ana Danilina as Undead Stripper #2, Ingrid Johansson as Featured IV Woman Undead, Jeffrey Weedon as Undead Little Boy #2, as Featured Undead Kid #1, Annabel Chu as Featured Undead Kid #2, Joey Jefferson as Featured Undead Kid #3, Heather Braaten as Featured Rooftop Undead #1, Joey Beck as Featured Rooftop Undead #3, Eric Morgan as Featured Undead City Walker #1, Gene Pyrz as Featured Undead City Walker #2, Torquil Colbo as Featured Undead City Walker #3, Joan Moore as Featured Undead City Walker #4, Peter C. Wylde as Featured Undead City Walker #5, Garry Geddes as Featured Undead City Walker #6, Dionne Renee as Featured Undead City Walker #7, Janessa Crimi as Featured Undead Kid #4, Dan Ellery as Featured Graveyard Undead 1 (as Derek Asland) / Featured "Surplus" Undead #3, Sharon Moore as Featured "Surplus" Undead #2, Jo Chim as Network Anchor #1, Bobby Prochaska as Network Anchor #2, Jazz Mann as Reporter #2, Larissa Gomes as Reporter #3, Gregory White as Lab Technician, as Leader Umbrella Guard, as Umbrella Gate Guard, as Featured School Undead, as Matt Addison (archive footage)

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