Private Resort

"Bad"

Private Resort Review


While I have no doubt that Johnny Depp, who made this film before he became a brooding actor's actor, would rather bury this movie completely, I'd wager that even the career-vanished Rob Morrow (who gets top billing here) wishes Private Resort could be scrubbed from his resume.

Morrow's theatrical debut and Depp's second film (after A Nightmare on Elm Street), the boys must have thought a little harmless sex comedy would have been a great way to get their careers jumping, or, at the very least, to ogle a breast or two. Well, the latter was successful, but everything else about this production -- which actually features Hector Elizondo as a criminal lothario -- is so ill-advised that it borders on unwatchable.

There's no plot to speak of: Morrow and Depp are pals at a tropical resort and are trying to get lucky. Along the way they encounter a series of obstacles. To get to one heiress you have to go through her doting grandmother and hippie sister. (Grandma ends up drugged.) Another girl, a waitress, isn't supposed to fraternize with the guests. And then there's Elizondo, who winds up taking a machine gun to the resort in this "comedy." Even Andrew Dice Clay appears, and if that's not an obstacle, I don't know what is.

The movie is so unfunny as to be sad and grating. Porky's looks like Citizen Kane in comparison. The film will make you long for the nuance of Bachelor Party and its donkey show.

Director George Bowers never directed another film after this; he wisely went back to editing. But hey, if you want to see how Depp and Morrow got started, now's your chance: 21 years after release, it's finally out on DVD.



Facts and Figures

Run time: 82 mins

In Theaters: Friday 3rd May 1985

Box Office Worldwide: $331.8 thousand

Distributed by: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Production compaines: TriStar Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 20%
Fresh: 1 Rotten: 4

IMDB: 5.2 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: George Bowers

Producer: R. Ben Efraim, Don Enright

Starring: as Jack, as Ben, as The Maestro, as Curt, Karyn O'Bryan as Dana, as Patti, as Scott, Lisa London as Alice, Christopher Wynne as Mike, Ronald E. House as The Barber

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

The Party Movie Review

The Party Movie Review

Comedies don't get much darker than this pitch-black British movie, written and directed by Sally...

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

Noah Baumbach (Frances Ha) is on his way to becoming the new Woody Allen, which...

6 Below Movie Review

6 Below Movie Review

Based on an astonishing true survival story, this film is subtitled "Miracle on the Mountain",...

Mother Movie Review

Mother Movie Review

Darren Aronofsky doesn't make fluffy movies, and has only had one genuine misfire (2014's Noah)....

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

It's been 35 years since Ridley Scott's 1982 sci-fi classic, which was set in 2019....

On the Road Movie Review

On the Road Movie Review

Wolf Alice fans are likely to be rather disappointed by this hybrid documentary-drama about the...

Borg/McEnroe Movie Review

Borg/McEnroe Movie Review

Skilfully made by Swedish filmmaker Janus Metz (the award-winning Armadillo), this film is essentially a...

Advertisement
The Glass Castle Movie Review

The Glass Castle Movie Review

There are quite a few terrific moments in this true story, based on the memoir...

Home Again Movie Review

Home Again Movie Review

Reese Witherspoon is so likeable that she can carry even the most hackneyed of romantic...

Brimstone Movie Review

Brimstone Movie Review

An unnerving Western with a sharp female perspective, this film is a series of gruesome...

Kingsman: The Golden Circle Movie Review

Kingsman: The Golden Circle Movie Review

Two years ago, Kingsman: The Secret Service seemed to come out of nowhere, ruffling feathers...

Goodbye Christopher Robin Movie Review

Goodbye Christopher Robin Movie Review

This biopic about Winnie the Pooh author A.A. Milne may look like the usual lushly...

Wind River Movie Review

Wind River Movie Review

After writing the superb Sicario and Hell or High Water, Taylor Sheridan moves back into...

The Vault Movie Review

The Vault Movie Review

Filmmakers Dan Bush and Conal Byrne attempt a mash-up of a frantic heist movie with...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.