Princess of Thieves

The adult-worthy stuff is minimal. Malcolm McDowell plays the wicked Sherriff of Nottingham, over-the-top, but that's really what this tepid story needs. (Speaking of which, it could also use a dose of historical reality, unless history really has forgotten the rule of King Philip, son of Richard the Lionheart... ahem.) Knightley will likely find a small following of preteen girls who want to follow in her medieval tomboy footsteps, but most viewers will find themselves a bit bored. Why? This story's been told a million times before -- and while Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves may not be the greatest telling of it, at least Kevin Costner was believable as a male. Sorry Keira, but you just don't look like a dude, no matter how you the disguise.