Everyone's Hero

"Bad"

Everyone's Hero Review


As I've said before, I have one rule for reviewing a kids' movie: Does it offer anything for adults who may be watching? Stale jokes, a soundtrack of songs that sounds like a combination of Creed's greatest hits and a sack of sugar, and the vocal talents of Rob Reiner will make adults dread seeing Everyone's Hero. And even though I pay taxes and have a pension plan, I'm fairly certain kids won't have much fun either.

The animated feature focuses on Yankee Irving, a Depression-era kid who embarks on a trip from New York to Chicago to return Babe Ruth's lucky bat and to clear his dad's name. Following Yankee is a crooked pitcher (voiced with gleeful malice by William H. Macy) who wants the bat so his team can hold Babe hitless and win the World Series.

Directed in part by the late Christopher Reeve, Everyone's Hero assumes kids know Ruth, so it doesn't bother to explain his greatness, which would add screen time and substance and save a trip to the library. Instead, the writers rely on a smart-mouthed baseball and tart-tongued bat in a failed attempt to rouse a tired premise. The maneuver fails because, first, it's more rewarding if the kid learns the lessons through human beings with experience, rather than from sporting goods spouting clichés and stupid one-liners. Second, it's never clear why the bat and ball talk to Yankee. Is it like something out of the brilliant comic strip "Calvin & Hobbes," but without the originality and insight? Is it a genie thing? Was dope readily available in the Bronx back in 1932?

Third, Reiner and Whoopi Goldberg's voice work will not inspire anyone to buy plush toys. As Babe's beloved bat Darlin', Goldberg is OK, a triumph for her. Reiner, meanwhile, delivers his lines like an aggressive salesman mixed with a hack vaudeville comic. He's beyond awful. The other characters Yankee meet, including a tomboy and three happy-go-lucky bums, we've met many times before, and they appear just in time to impart inspirational advice to Yankee. With such unoriginal, lifeless characters, no wonder the voice work here is so flat; no wonder why it's hard to muster any enthusiasm for 86 minutes.

As for the finale, I will only say that it doesn't align with childhood fantasy, despite how ridiculous it is. When I was young, dreaming of patrolling third base for the New York Mets, I dreamt of playing at (or above) the skill level of my heroes. Those dreams never involved me crushing a game-winning home run off of a tee, or having every player on the opposition bobble the ball so I could fulfill my glory. I wasn't interested in winning on a compromise. That the people behind Everyone's Hero think kids would prefer an obnoxious talking baseball to that basic childhood fantasy shows just how misguided and poorly executed this movie is.

Stop me before I kill again.



Everyone's Hero

Facts and Figures

In Theaters: Friday 15th September 2006

Box Office USA: $14.5M

Box Office Worldwide: $16.6M

Distributed by: 20th Century Fox

Production compaines: IDT Entertainment

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 41%
Fresh: 28 Rotten: 40

IMDB: 5.8 / 10

Cast & Crew

Producer: Igor Khait, Ron Tippe

Starring: William H. Macy as Lefty Maginnis (Voice), as Screwie (voice), as Babe Ruth (voice), Ritchie Allen as Officer Bryant, as Yankee Irving, as Rosetta Brewster, Jesse Bronstein as Sandlot Kid #1, Ralph Coppola as Sandlot Kid #2, as Darlin', Jason Harris as Announcer, as Hobo Louie, Ray Iannicelli as Conductors / Umpire, Gideon Jacobs as Bully Kid Tubby, as Hobo Andy / Maitre D', Marcus Maurice as Willie, Amanda Parsons as Emily Irving, as Napoleon Cross (voice) (uncredited)

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Their Finest Movie Review

Their Finest Movie Review

Skilfully written, directed and acted, this offbeat British period film tells a story that catches...

Unforgettable Movie Review

Unforgettable Movie Review

With heavy echoes of trashy thrillers like Fatal Attraction, this movie overcomes its painfully simplistic...

The Belko Experiment Movie Review

The Belko Experiment Movie Review

The kill-or-die scenario that this movie hinges on isn't something new; it's been used in...

The Fate of the Furious Movie Review

The Fate of the Furious Movie Review

With the more dumbed-down title Fast & Furious 8 outside of North America, this overcrowded...

A Quiet Passion Movie Review

A Quiet Passion Movie Review

British writer-director Terence Davies (The Deep Blue Sea) is an expert at digging beneath the...

The Sense of an Ending Movie Review

The Sense of an Ending Movie Review

Julian Barnes' Booker Prize-winning novel is adapted into a remarkably intelligent, gently involving film anchored...

The Boss Baby Movie Review

The Boss Baby Movie Review

There isn't a lot of subtlety in this madcap animated comedy, which is more aimed...

Advertisement
City of Tiny Lights Movie Review

City of Tiny Lights Movie Review

After the latest incarnation of Dredd, director Pete Travis shifts gears drastically for this complex...

Going in Style Movie Review

Going in Style Movie Review

This is only technically a remake of the iconic 1979 film starring movie icons George...

Graduation Movie Review

Graduation Movie Review

Romanian filmmaker Cristian Mungiu (4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days) recounts another staggeringly detailed...

Ghost in the Shell Movie Review

Ghost in the Shell Movie Review

This sci-fi thriller is so visually stunning that it deserves to be mentioned in the...

Free Fire Movie Review

Free Fire Movie Review

Basically a 90-minute shoot-out, there isn't a lot to this movie. British filmmaker Ben Wheatley...

Life Movie Review

Life Movie Review

Like a mash-up of Alien and Gravity, this ripping sci-fi horror movie is very effective...

The Lost City of Z Movie Review

The Lost City of Z Movie Review

Based on a true story, it's the historical aspect of these events that holds the...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.