Eight Legged Freaks

"Weak"

Eight Legged Freaks Review


Spiders are annoying little creatures that always find ways to invade your space. Many people find the sight of them scary, but usually a good-soled shoe is the best defense. But the spiders of Eight Legged Freaks are so massive that a shoe won't even dent their exoskeleton; too bad the film itself leaves a similarly lackluster impression.

In the Arizona desert town of Prosperity, there is little to get excited about - not even the sparkling new shopping mall can bring energy to this lifeless place. But when a toxic spill oozes its way to a spider farm (local industry!), the spiders mutate into gigantic monsters and this sleepy town is in for a rude awakening. After eating up the dog, cat, and ostrich population, hundreds of hungry eight-legged beasts are ready to feast on the residents. It is now up to a love-struck miner (David Arquette), the best-looking sheriff since Suzanne Somers (Kari Wuhrer), her kids (Scarlett Johansson and Scott Terra), and an annoying ham-radio operator (Doug E. Doug) to save this who-really-cares little town.

Eight Legged Freaks is a throwback to the "when monsters attack" genre of the 1950s, and it's the kind of lighthearted, summer popcorn movie you expect to be silly and predictable. We know the acting will be overdone. We know the adults will not believe a little boy who swears big spiders are on the move. We expect the phone service will be knocked out and the town's only cell phone will fail to get service. Even the ending is well telegraphed early in the movie.

Eight Legged Freaks operates in much the same vein as Tremors, but it's not nearly as much fun. Freaks doesn't re-invent this tiresome genre (as it should if it expects anyone to pay to see it). Rather, all we get is a bunch of similar, giant spider monsters attacking people we could care less about. The incomplete plot only serves to facilitate a tiresome spider assault (see also the recent Evolution). The movie squanders any potential to plant the shocks meant to jolt a weary audience, but instead the movie chooses conventionality over originality.

The special effects behind these annoying spiders come from CFX, the same group that did its haphazard work on Independence Day. The press kit insists the effects are "state-of-the-art," however all the spiders do here is jump, scurry, crawl, and spin webs. I'm not sure what's so special about that - isn't that what spiders do? Maybe if the effects were really extraordinary, we could have witnessed how they mutated into giants, quickly multiplied, and consumed their prey. Now that's entertainment!

The DVD includes a commentary track from a number of cast and crew members, a short (text) history of the monster movie (worth a peek), and 12 minutes of context-void deleted scenes (definitely worth skipping).

Pay no attention to the giant spider behind the La-Z-Boy.



Eight Legged Freaks

Facts and Figures

Run time: 99 mins

In Theaters: Wednesday 17th July 2002

Box Office USA: $17.2M

Distributed by: Warner Bros.

Production compaines: Warner Brothers, Village Roadshow Pictures, NPV Entertainment

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 2 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 48%
Fresh: 69 Rotten: 74

IMDB: 5.4 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Chris McCormick, as Sheriff Samantha Parker, as Mike Parker, as Ashley Parker, Doug E. Doug as Harlan Griffith, as Deputy Pete Willis, as Wade, as Bret, as Gladys, as Randy, Jane Edith Wilson as Emma, Jack Moore as Amos, Roy Gaintner as Floyd

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Wind River Movie Review

Wind River Movie Review

After writing the superb Sicario and Hell or High Water, Taylor Sheridan moves back into...

The Vault Movie Review

The Vault Movie Review

Filmmakers Dan Bush and Conal Byrne attempt a mash-up of a frantic heist movie with...

Goon: Last of the Enforcers Movie Review

Goon: Last of the Enforcers Movie Review

The 2012 Canadian comedy Goon was one of those surprising little films that snuck up...

Detroit Movie Review

Detroit Movie Review

After The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty, Kathryn Bigelow and Mark Boal reteam to...

Logan Lucky Movie Review

Logan Lucky Movie Review

Good news: Steven Soderbergh's well-publicised retirement from directing only lasted about four years. He's back...

American Made Movie Review

American Made Movie Review

An enjoyably freewheeling tone and Tom Cruise's star wattage combine to make this an entertaining...

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power Movie Review

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power Movie Review

It's been a decade since Al Gore's wake-up-call documentary won the Oscar. And here he...

Advertisement
The Hitman's Bodyguard Movie Review

The Hitman's Bodyguard Movie Review

It really doesn't matter that this movie is utterly ridiculous, because the central pairing of...

Final Portrait Movie Review

Final Portrait Movie Review

A relaxed, amusing true story about noted Swiss painter and sculptor Alberto Giacometti, this sharply...

Tom of Finland Movie Review

Tom of Finland Movie Review

Finnish artist Tuoko Laaksonen used the name "Tom of Finland" as he drew explicit illustrations...

A Ghost Story Movie Review

A Ghost Story Movie Review

Filmmaker David Lowery reunites the stars from his offbeat Western Ain't Them Bodies Saints for...

Atomic Blonde Movie Review

Atomic Blonde Movie Review

From the co-director of John Wick, this similarly styled action romp puts Charlize Theron front...

Girls Trip Movie Review

Girls Trip Movie Review

This movie's premise basically sounds like The Hangover with added black girl power. But it's...

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Movie Review

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Movie Review

There's so much manic energy in this animated action comedy that it can't help but...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.