Deadly Scavengers

"Terrible"

Deadly Scavengers Review


When I was 12 years old, my friends and I took our then-state-of-the-art PolarVision instant video camera ($10 tape = 2 1/2 minutes of shooting time. No editing. No sound.)

We charged neighbors 25 cents to see our movies, and a nickel to play the Atari. Each movie would fund (we hoped) the ten bucks needed to buy the next tape. And thus we would waste a whole summer.

Perhaps our most popular film ever was not one of the myriad Star Wars figures stop-motion recreations, but rather our classic Invasion of the Giant Roaches, wherein several hundred roaches (captured and killed in our own vinegar traps) overtook a small town (actually a model train set) before the army (army figures, natch) came in and blew them all up (with firecrackers, of course).

Exploding bugs are great. But Ron Ford's (credits include Witchcraft XI and The Crawling Brain) Deadly Scavengers is one of the worst movies I've ever seen -- if not the worst movie ever made.

Those are fightin' words, sure, but I think I can back it up. For starters, I am reasonably sure the entire movie was shot in one afternoon. Ford might have shot another movie at the same time with a camera in his other hand, but I can't be sure. The acting here is about as bad as it gets, with wooden line readings being one thing and the atrocious dubbing being another. The editing and direction are even worse -- even a woman who pushes a guy out of a car can't get the move right and Ford isn't smart enough to enter the scene later in the action to make it look remotely realistic. And rather than actually drive an RV around while shooting a scene in the back of it, Ford closes all the curtains and just shakes the camera back and forth to give it the appearance of motion. No, Ron. No.

I'd go into the plot but I don't think there is one (bugs kill people, 'nuff said). I'd try to come up with something good to say, but I really don't want to deceive you. Or waste 88 minutes of your day.



Facts and Figures

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Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

IMDB: 5.2 / 10

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