Body Shots

"Terrible"

Body Shots Review


Don't be fooled by the marketing campaign for "Body Shots" -- it's not a cool, funny, sexy romp or the defining document of life as a modern, twentysomething hipster, as the advertising has the audacity to proclaim.

In fact, this self-important, superficial ensemble piece opens unpleasantly in the minutes following an alcohol-induced rape, then -- after dropping that one shoe -- rewinds to the night before and makes you wade through an hour of shallow, soap operatic constipation with unbelievably one-dimensional characters before meandering back to this one element of the movie with any emotional hook whatsoever.

The bulk of "Body Shots" revolves around an octet of generically pretty, largely blonde, yuppies-in-training who talk incessantly to the camera, over-analyzing their sex lives and the difference between men and women in some of the most trite monologues in movie history.

"I believe in courtship," says a sexually frustrated, office jockey, nice guy (Brad Rowe, "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss").

"I mean, it's just sex," says a night club waitress who just got a boob job (Emily Procter, "Guinevere").

"I like blow jobs. I do!" insists a wickedly flirty aspiring actress (Tara Reid, "American Pie") with so little character that she unceremoniously tosses over the nice guy when an Oakland Raider rookie (Jerry O'connell, "Sliders") hits on her in a bar.

She's the one that gets raped, by the way, by the misogynistic ball player -- who she goes home with even after watching him get blotto and start a bar fight.

"I thought I could trust him," she bawls the next a.m. Just how dumb is this girl?

An inherently flawed mix of failed humor, attempted drama and bimbo Angelenos whose makeup is always perfect -- even in the hospital the morning after being raped -- "Body Shots" has an "Ally McBeal" view of the world, where everyone is either a gorgeous quick wit, a gorgeous introspective pouter (and therefore deep, by picture's logic) or The Quirky Guy (Ron Livingston, "Office Space") who makes endearingly inappropriate remarks, dresses like a prep school rebel and has his hangover Alka-Seltzer with flat beer from the night before.

After spending the bulk of the movie following these insipid egoists around on a Friday night club crawl, the movie returns to the morning after and the rape's repercussions, taking a stab at emotions that are way beyond the grasp of director Michael Cristofer, who must have shot his load on last year's great HBO flick "Gia."

In an ill-advised move, he also allows almost 10 minutes for the football player's point of view -- actually playing the sympathy card for the rapist! -- before copping out on any kind of reasonable resolution by having both accused and accuser admit to blacking out at least part of the evening, making the movie look suddenly like a half-hearted allegory on the evils of irresponsible drinking.

If, in fact, that was their intention, Cristofer and screenwriter David McKenna (American History X") do a lousy job creating even a modicum of credibility. If that was not their intention, then all they've done is embodied on film all the depth and import of a Cosmo quiz.

Either way, the best thing about "Body Shots" was when the credits rolled at the end of a movie and I could finally escape its pretentious platitudes.



Facts and Figures

Run time: 106 mins

In Theaters: Friday 21st January 2000

Distributed by: New Line Cinema

Production compaines: New Line Cinema, Colomby/Keaton Productions

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 11%
Fresh: 3 Rotten: 25

IMDB: 5.0 / 10

Cast & Crew

Starring: as Michael Penorisi, as Jane Bannister, as Rick Hamilton, as Sara Olswang, as Trent, as Whitney Bryant, Joe Basile as Bartender, Scott Burkholder as Man in Bar, Liz Coke as Girl #2, Allison Dunbar as Girl #3, Edmund Genest as Sara's Dad (as Edmond Genest), Adam Lieberman as Burger Joint Cop (as Adam Gordon), Mark Hicks as Bodyguard, as Detective Richards, Elizabeth Liebel as Mrs. Drofsky, Marc Lynn as Disco Bartender, Lou Paget as Oral Sex Instructor, Adina Porter as Detective Thompson, Benny Quan as Burger Joint Manager, as Shawn Denigan, Wendy Schenker as Doctor, Nick Spano as Jeff the Doorman, Sybil Darrow as Emma Cooper (as Sybil Temchen), Emmy Collins as Shopping Cart Man (uncredited), Cameron Glenar as Club Patron (uncredited), Phil Hawn as Club Patron (uncredited), Rich Knight as Dancer (uncredited), Cheryl Rusa as Club Patron (uncredited), as Michael's Attorney (uncredited), Heidi Van Horne as Waitress (uncredited), Dwayne Winstead as Body Guard #2 (uncredited)

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

The Party Movie Review

The Party Movie Review

Comedies don't get much darker than this pitch-black British movie, written and directed by Sally...

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Movie Review

Noah Baumbach (Frances Ha) is on his way to becoming the new Woody Allen, which...

6 Below Movie Review

6 Below Movie Review

Based on an astonishing true survival story, this film is subtitled "Miracle on the Mountain",...

Mother Movie Review

Mother Movie Review

Darren Aronofsky doesn't make fluffy movies, and has only had one genuine misfire (2014's Noah)....

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

It's been 35 years since Ridley Scott's 1982 sci-fi classic, which was set in 2019....

On the Road Movie Review

On the Road Movie Review

Wolf Alice fans are likely to be rather disappointed by this hybrid documentary-drama about the...

Borg/McEnroe Movie Review

Borg/McEnroe Movie Review

Skilfully made by Swedish filmmaker Janus Metz (the award-winning Armadillo), this film is essentially a...

Advertisement
The Glass Castle Movie Review

The Glass Castle Movie Review

There are quite a few terrific moments in this true story, based on the memoir...

Home Again Movie Review

Home Again Movie Review

Reese Witherspoon is so likeable that she can carry even the most hackneyed of romantic...

Brimstone Movie Review

Brimstone Movie Review

An unnerving Western with a sharp female perspective, this film is a series of gruesome...

Kingsman: The Golden Circle Movie Review

Kingsman: The Golden Circle Movie Review

Two years ago, Kingsman: The Secret Service seemed to come out of nowhere, ruffling feathers...

Goodbye Christopher Robin Movie Review

Goodbye Christopher Robin Movie Review

This biopic about Winnie the Pooh author A.A. Milne may look like the usual lushly...

Wind River Movie Review

Wind River Movie Review

After writing the superb Sicario and Hell or High Water, Taylor Sheridan moves back into...

The Vault Movie Review

The Vault Movie Review

Filmmakers Dan Bush and Conal Byrne attempt a mash-up of a frantic heist movie with...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.