Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid

"Weak"

Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid Review


When I admitted to a friend that I yet to see the original Anaconda, he assured me that it was a hoot. After all, where else can you see Jon Voight eaten by a gigantic snake and then vomited back out? Well, aside from Coming Home?

If the sequel had one scene like that, then, I would have left the theater a happy camper. However, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid does not. That is a big problem.

A crew, consisting mainly of research scientists and other brainiacs, makes its way to Borneo in the hopes of finding the rare blood orchid. The leader of the group, Gordon (Morris Chestnut, this time keeping his shirt on) wants to make the "pharmaceutical equivalent of the fountain of youth" from the powerful flower.

Of course, the trip is doomed. It's rainy season in Borneo, so the going on the rivers is rough, time is tight (the flower only blooms for a short period of time every seven years) and its mating season for the anacondas. The intrepid crew finds itself in the middle of the snakes' dinnertime after its boat plummets down a waterfall and shatters like a dinner plate. The men and women survive, but their numbers start to dwindle as the anacondas start biting and greed consumes one member of the party.

Audience members will most likely be consumed by boredom. Director Dwight H. Little (Marked for Death, Murder at 1600) decides to direct seriously. He doesn't play up the snake as a fright figure -- we rarely see its viciousness. The snakes lurk underwater, chase the characters through the dark, but we rarely see their blood-drenched fangs or awesome killing capabilities. Nobody gets chomped or spit out. Instead, we hear about their digestion capabilities and their mating rituals. I would hate to think that Voight died in vain.

Anacondas needs violence and camp appeal, especially because the movie's four screenwriters offer us no one to relate to, no one whose fear we can feel through the screen. We have the naïve and comely blonde, the stuffy scientist, the overtly hip-hop-influenced computer geek (the annoying as jock itch, yammering Eugene Byrd), and the verbally sparring couple out of TV's Moonlighting. The casting is ridiculous. The women look fantastic, the kind for whom Victoria's Secret was created for; the men look as if they can bench press small automobiles. Who knew the science field was so jam-packed with beautiful people?

The movie does deliver upon the promises offered in its title, and little else. Those looking for more entertainment value for their dollar should see The Manchurian Candidate. Jon Voight also meets an untimely, ghastly demise here, but Jonathan Demme's remake is relevant, thrilling and perfectly cast; all things that Anacondas is not.

They're all out of espresso!



Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid

Facts and Figures

Run time: 97 mins

In Theaters: Friday 27th August 2004

Box Office USA: $31.5M

Distributed by: Sony Pictures Releasing

Production compaines: Screen Gems, Inc.

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 2 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 26%
Fresh: 30 Rotten: 87

IMDB: 4.5 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Dwight H. Little

Producer:

Starring: as Bill Johnson, as Sam Rogers, as Dr. Jack Byron, as Dr. Ben Douglas, as Cole Burris, as Tran, Salli Richardson-Whitfield as Gail Stern, as Gordon Mitchell, as John Livingston, Nicholas Hope as Christian Van Dyke, as Lawyer, as CEO

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

The BFG Movie Review

The BFG Movie Review

For his adaptation of the Roald Dahl classic, Steven Spielberg reunited with screenwriter Melissa Mathison,...

Finding Dory Movie Review

Finding Dory Movie Review

It's been 13 years since the release of the Disney/Pixar hit Finding Nemo, and filmmaker...

Star Trek Beyond Movie Review

Star Trek Beyond Movie Review

This is where the Star Trek franchise officially shifts from thoughtful drama into thunderous action....

Ice Age: Collision Course Movie Review

Ice Age: Collision Course Movie Review

With its fifth feature-length adventure, this franchise continues its preposterous journey at full tilt. As...

Keanu Movie Review

Keanu Movie Review

An entertaining hybrid of satirical comedy and action thriller, this madcap adventure swerves wildly between...

Ghostbusters Movie Review

Ghostbusters Movie Review

It's been more than 30 years since the Ghostbusters first hit the big screen with...

Now You See Me 2 Movie Review

Now You See Me 2 Movie Review

While the original 2013 magical caper was a big hit, it's style-over-substance approach didn't exactly...

Advertisement
The Legend of Tarzan Movie Review

The Legend of Tarzan Movie Review

It's been nearly 30 years since the last live-action Tarzan movie, and yet it still...

Maggie's Plan Movie Review

Maggie's Plan Movie Review

A New York comedy with vivid characters and a contrived plot, this feels rather a...

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie Movie Review

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie Movie Review

Nearly 25 years after the sitcom debuted, Edina and Patsy arrive on the big screen...

Central Intelligence Movie Review

Central Intelligence Movie Review

After teaming up with Will Ferrell for Get Hard and Ice Cube for two Ride...

The Colony [Colonia] Movie Review

The Colony [Colonia] Movie Review

Based on a true story, this Chilean drama has a chilling edge to it that's...

Independence Day: Resurgence Movie Review

Independence Day: Resurgence Movie Review

Two decades is a long time to wait for a sequel, especially one starring much...

Elvis & Nixon Movie Review

Elvis & Nixon Movie Review

This movie is based on a real meeting between Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon in...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.