Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid

"Weak"

Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid Review


When I admitted to a friend that I yet to see the original Anaconda, he assured me that it was a hoot. After all, where else can you see Jon Voight eaten by a gigantic snake and then vomited back out? Well, aside from Coming Home?

If the sequel had one scene like that, then, I would have left the theater a happy camper. However, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid does not. That is a big problem.

A crew, consisting mainly of research scientists and other brainiacs, makes its way to Borneo in the hopes of finding the rare blood orchid. The leader of the group, Gordon (Morris Chestnut, this time keeping his shirt on) wants to make the "pharmaceutical equivalent of the fountain of youth" from the powerful flower.

Of course, the trip is doomed. It's rainy season in Borneo, so the going on the rivers is rough, time is tight (the flower only blooms for a short period of time every seven years) and its mating season for the anacondas. The intrepid crew finds itself in the middle of the snakes' dinnertime after its boat plummets down a waterfall and shatters like a dinner plate. The men and women survive, but their numbers start to dwindle as the anacondas start biting and greed consumes one member of the party.

Audience members will most likely be consumed by boredom. Director Dwight H. Little (Marked for Death, Murder at 1600) decides to direct seriously. He doesn't play up the snake as a fright figure -- we rarely see its viciousness. The snakes lurk underwater, chase the characters through the dark, but we rarely see their blood-drenched fangs or awesome killing capabilities. Nobody gets chomped or spit out. Instead, we hear about their digestion capabilities and their mating rituals. I would hate to think that Voight died in vain.

Anacondas needs violence and camp appeal, especially because the movie's four screenwriters offer us no one to relate to, no one whose fear we can feel through the screen. We have the naïve and comely blonde, the stuffy scientist, the overtly hip-hop-influenced computer geek (the annoying as jock itch, yammering Eugene Byrd), and the verbally sparring couple out of TV's Moonlighting. The casting is ridiculous. The women look fantastic, the kind for whom Victoria's Secret was created for; the men look as if they can bench press small automobiles. Who knew the science field was so jam-packed with beautiful people?

The movie does deliver upon the promises offered in its title, and little else. Those looking for more entertainment value for their dollar should see The Manchurian Candidate. Jon Voight also meets an untimely, ghastly demise here, but Jonathan Demme's remake is relevant, thrilling and perfectly cast; all things that Anacondas is not.

They're all out of espresso!



Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid

Facts and Figures

Run time: 97 mins

In Theaters: Friday 27th August 2004

Box Office USA: $31.5M

Distributed by: Sony Pictures Releasing

Production compaines: Screen Gems, Inc.

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 2 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 26%
Fresh: 30 Rotten: 87

IMDB: 4.5 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Dwight H. Little

Producer:

Starring: as Bill Johnson, as Sam Rogers, as Dr. Jack Byron, as Dr. Ben Douglas, as Cole Burris, as Tran, Salli Richardson-Whitfield as Gail Stern, as Gordon Mitchell, as John Livingston, Nicholas Hope as Christian Van Dyke, as Lawyer, as CEO

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Hampstead Movie Review

Hampstead Movie Review

Deliberately appealing to older audiences, this undemanding comedy-drama comes with a hint of social relevance...

The Book of Henry Movie Review

The Book of Henry Movie Review

Apparently, this offbeat script had been making the rounds in Hollywood for some 20 years...

Transformers: The Last Knight Movie Review

Transformers: The Last Knight Movie Review

With this fifth Transformers movie, it seems clear that Michael Bay is still trying to...

Churchill Movie Review

Churchill Movie Review

This drama about the iconic British prime minister tells a darkly personal story set over...

Gifted Movie Review

Gifted Movie Review

This is one of those films that dances right up to the edge of soapy...

Whitney: Can I Be Me Movie Review

Whitney: Can I Be Me Movie Review

Notorious British filmmaker Nick Broomfield teams up with Austrian music documentary producer Rudi Dolezal to...

The Mummy Movie Review

The Mummy Movie Review

To launch their new Dark Universe franchise, Universal has taken an approach that mixes murky...

Advertisement
My Cousin Rachel Movie Review

My Cousin Rachel Movie Review

Daphne du Maurier's 1951 mystery-romance novel has been adapted for theatre, radio, TV and film,...

Wilson Movie Review

Wilson Movie Review

It's never helpful when a comedy becomes a bit too smug about its own quirkiness....

Interlude in Prague Movie Review

Interlude in Prague Movie Review

A fictionalised story from the life of Wolfgang Mozart, this lavishly produced period drama is...

The Hippopotamus Movie Review

The Hippopotamus Movie Review

This British satirical comedy may be a bit of a mess, but since it's based...

Detour Movie Review

Detour Movie Review

This may look like a rather typical American indie thriller, but British filmmaker Christopher Smith...

Wonder Woman Movie Review

Wonder Woman Movie Review

Boldly optimistic, this action-packed adventure breathes fresh life into the DC universe with a welcome...

Baywatch Movie Review

Baywatch Movie Review

Clearly, it's a risky proposition adapting a cheesy vintage TV series for the big screen:...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.