All The Queen's Men

"Bad"

All The Queen's Men Review


Matt LeBlanc -- now here's a guy that picks winners to star in. He played second fiddle to a baseball-playing monkey in Ed. The same monkey could have owned his role in the pitiful Lost in Space. He even ironically played a B-movie actor in Charlie's Angels. And with his new turn in All The Queen's Men, LeBlanc finally embraces the monkey persona fully, complete with pantyhose, bad makeup, and ever so pouty red lips.

In his latest attempt to shake his identity as the dim-witted Joey from the TV show Friends, LeBlanc stretches his acting chops as a bad-ass solider boy sent to outwit the Germans during WWII, in order steal their spy secrets. It's a WWII comedy/drama/action yarn with an identity crisis that rivals that of Jame Gumb from The Silence of the Lambs.

The blame shouldn't be put completely on LeBlanc's shoulders; instead it belongs on the knucklehead producers that decided, "Hey, Matt LeBlanc would look great with DKNY high heels and a Kate Spade handbag!" Hell, if John Ritter has an acting career, then what should stop Matt from living out a boyhood fantasy of dressing up in drag and sexually arousing Udo Kier with a right hook?

In the end, All the Queen's Men is a crass and insulting homage to great films like Some Like It Hot and the John Wayne classics. In Queen's, LeBlanc plays O'Rourke, a brash, unconventional Army Major who's been given a Dirty Dozen-type of assignment to parachute into Berlin with a rag-tag group of commandos -- including a nerdy mathematician, an elder bookworm, and Eddie Izzard (sporting the latest Lacombe spring collection) -- to steal the German Enigma code machine from a female-run factory. Along the way, we are exposed to the horrors of war visited upon the German people by the Allied bombers. We are then torn asunder in anguish over lovers, both gay and straight, caught between warring countries. And my, how we laugh at seeing grown men in drag and makeup.

Sometimes, All the Queen's Men plays as comedy, with the usual scenes of straight men in drag learning to walk like Lana Turner and cross their legs like Sharon Stone. Then it becomes a grade-Z action movie as LeBlanc jumps from building to building with Spiderman-like grace. And then the film delivers tragic, ethical moments of pause, asking us to reconcile life and death while serving your country as a soldier. And then Eddie Izzard sings some vaudeville and the German people start yelling, "Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff!" at the top of their lungs, throwing underwear onto the stage. By the end, watching this tripe becomes almost too much to bear.

What's really amazing is that Stefan Ruzowitzky -- who wrote and directed the unnerving Anatomy and the brilliant The Inheritors -- directed this shoddy and cheap WWII "comedy." But with a script conceived by three former TV writers (one of whom wrote episodes of the live-action Spiderman TV show from the '70s and one who wrote the Cher movie Mermaids), maybe that's really the best he could do.

Screened at the 24th Annual Mill Valley Film Festival.

Highest of hijinks.



All The Queen's Men

Facts and Figures

Run time: 99 mins

In Theaters: Thursday 13th December 2001

Box Office Worldwide: $23 thousand

Budget: $15M

Distributed by: Strand Releasing

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 7%
Fresh: 2 Rotten: 27

IMDB: 4.5 / 10

Cast & Crew

Starring: Matt LeBlanc as O'Rourke, as Tony, as Archie, as Romy, David Tristan Birkin as Johnno, as Aitken, as General Landssdorf, as Franz, as Hauptsturmführer

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

Contactmusic 2017 Exclusive

New Movies

Hidden Figures Movie Review

Hidden Figures Movie Review

This film recounts such a great true story that we don't mind the fact that...

The Founder Movie Review

The Founder Movie Review

This is the story of Ray Kroc, the man who created the concept of McDonald's....

John Wick: Chapter 2 Movie Review

John Wick: Chapter 2 Movie Review

Keanu Reeves picks up his supremely efficient hitman immediately where the 2015 original left him:...

Fences Movie Review

Fences Movie Review

After winning Tony Awards on Broadway, Denzel Washington and Viola Davis reteam for a film...

The Lego Batman Movie Movie Review

The Lego Batman Movie Movie Review

A spin-off from 2014's awesome The Lego Movie, this raucously paced action-comedy is proof that...

The Space Between Us Movie Review

The Space Between Us Movie Review

While the premise of this movie makes it look like a sci-fi adventure, the truth...

Toni Erdmann Movie Review

Toni Erdmann Movie Review

On paper, the idea of a two-hour 40-minute German comedy may not seem very promising,...

Advertisement
Gold Movie Review

Gold Movie Review

Based on a true story, this lively and sometimes outrageous adventure is packed with twists...

Loving Movie Review

Loving Movie Review

While this film tackles a huge issue in the history of race relations in America,...

T2 Trainspotting Movie Review

T2 Trainspotting Movie Review

It's been 20 years since we last saw four freewheeling young junkies from Edinburgh spiral...

Hacksaw Ridge Movie Review

Hacksaw Ridge Movie Review

Based on an astounding true story, this battlefield drama mixes warm emotion with intense action...

Sing Movie Review

Sing Movie Review

The quality of the animation in this musical comedy may not be up to Pixar...

Jackie Movie Review

Jackie Movie Review

Rather than make a standard biopic about the most famous First Lady in American history,...

Split Movie Review

Split Movie Review

After a few badly received sci-fi blockbusters, M. Night Shyamalan returned to his earthier style...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.