All The Queen's Men

"Bad"

All The Queen's Men Review


Matt LeBlanc -- now here's a guy that picks winners to star in. He played second fiddle to a baseball-playing monkey in Ed. The same monkey could have owned his role in the pitiful Lost in Space. He even ironically played a B-movie actor in Charlie's Angels. And with his new turn in All The Queen's Men, LeBlanc finally embraces the monkey persona fully, complete with pantyhose, bad makeup, and ever so pouty red lips.

In his latest attempt to shake his identity as the dim-witted Joey from the TV show Friends, LeBlanc stretches his acting chops as a bad-ass solider boy sent to outwit the Germans during WWII, in order steal their spy secrets. It's a WWII comedy/drama/action yarn with an identity crisis that rivals that of Jame Gumb from The Silence of the Lambs.

The blame shouldn't be put completely on LeBlanc's shoulders; instead it belongs on the knucklehead producers that decided, "Hey, Matt LeBlanc would look great with DKNY high heels and a Kate Spade handbag!" Hell, if John Ritter has an acting career, then what should stop Matt from living out a boyhood fantasy of dressing up in drag and sexually arousing Udo Kier with a right hook?

In the end, All the Queen's Men is a crass and insulting homage to great films like Some Like It Hot and the John Wayne classics. In Queen's, LeBlanc plays O'Rourke, a brash, unconventional Army Major who's been given a Dirty Dozen-type of assignment to parachute into Berlin with a rag-tag group of commandos -- including a nerdy mathematician, an elder bookworm, and Eddie Izzard (sporting the latest Lacombe spring collection) -- to steal the German Enigma code machine from a female-run factory. Along the way, we are exposed to the horrors of war visited upon the German people by the Allied bombers. We are then torn asunder in anguish over lovers, both gay and straight, caught between warring countries. And my, how we laugh at seeing grown men in drag and makeup.

Sometimes, All the Queen's Men plays as comedy, with the usual scenes of straight men in drag learning to walk like Lana Turner and cross their legs like Sharon Stone. Then it becomes a grade-Z action movie as LeBlanc jumps from building to building with Spiderman-like grace. And then the film delivers tragic, ethical moments of pause, asking us to reconcile life and death while serving your country as a soldier. And then Eddie Izzard sings some vaudeville and the German people start yelling, "Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff!" at the top of their lungs, throwing underwear onto the stage. By the end, watching this tripe becomes almost too much to bear.

What's really amazing is that Stefan Ruzowitzky -- who wrote and directed the unnerving Anatomy and the brilliant The Inheritors -- directed this shoddy and cheap WWII "comedy." But with a script conceived by three former TV writers (one of whom wrote episodes of the live-action Spiderman TV show from the '70s and one who wrote the Cher movie Mermaids), maybe that's really the best he could do.

Screened at the 24th Annual Mill Valley Film Festival.

Highest of hijinks.



All The Queen's Men

Facts and Figures

Run time: 99 mins

In Theaters: Thursday 13th December 2001

Box Office Worldwide: $23 thousand

Budget: $15M

Distributed by: Strand Releasing

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 7%
Fresh: 2 Rotten: 27

IMDB: 4.5 / 10

Cast & Crew

Starring: Matt LeBlanc as O'Rourke, as Tony, as Archie, as Romy, David Tristan Birkin as Johnno, as Aitken, as General Landssdorf, as Franz, as Hauptsturmführer

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie Review

After the thunderous reception for J.J. Abrams' Episode VII: The Force Awakens two years ago,...

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Daddy's Home 2 Movie Review

Like the 2015 original, this comedy plays merrily with cliches to tell a silly story...

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

The Man Who Invented Christmas Movie Review

There's a somewhat contrived jauntiness to this blending of fact and fiction that may leave...

Ferdinand Movie Review

Ferdinand Movie Review

This animated comedy adventure is based on the beloved children's book, which was published in...

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Brigsby Bear Movie Review

Director Dave McCary makes a superb feature debut with this offbeat black comedy, which explores...

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

Battle of the Sexes Movie Review

A dramatisation of the real-life clash between tennis icons Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs,...

Shot Caller Movie Review

Shot Caller Movie Review

There isn't much subtlety to this prison thriller, but it's edgy enough to hold the...

Advertisement
The Disaster Artist Movie Review

The Disaster Artist Movie Review

A hilariously outrageous story based on real events, this film recounts the making of the...

Stronger Movie Review

Stronger Movie Review

Based on a true story about the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, this looks like one...

Only the Brave Movie Review

Only the Brave Movie Review

Based on a genuinely moving true story, this film undercuts the realism by pushing its...

Wonder Movie Review

Wonder Movie Review

This film may be based on RJ Palacio's fictional bestseller, but it approaches its story...

Happy End  Movie Review

Happy End Movie Review

Austrian auteur Michael Haneke isn't known for his light touch, but rather for hard-hitting, award-winning...

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Patti Cake$ Movie Review

Seemingly from out of nowhere, this film generates perhaps the biggest smile of any movie...

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

The Limehouse Golem Movie Review

A Victorian thriller with rather heavy echoes of Jack the Ripper, this film struggles to...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.