101 Dalmatians

"Terrible"

101 Dalmatians Review


Well, another new Disney movie is coming out and with it comes the theaters packed with screaming babies, very restless kids kicking your seat, and throngs of grownups providing running commentary of everything on the screen (to themselves, not the kids).

This is not a good thing. This time, the Disney movie is 101 Dalmatians, the live-action version, and if any movie could make me long for a quick and painless death, this is it.

In an era when we get smart "children's" movies like Babe, why does dreck like this have to continue to be made? The new 101 Dalmatians goes like this: Roger (Jeff Daniels) is a video game designer in London (where all the best video game designers live, I'm sure), and Anita (Joely Richardson) is a fashion designer in the employ of one Cruella DeVil (Glenn Close). Roger and Anita both have Dalmatians, and the super-smart dogs conspire to get Roger and Anita together. He proposes marriage an hour after he meets her, they get hitched, the Dalmatians have puppies, and Cruella decides she wants them for a coat. Cruella steals the happy couple's puppies plus a bunch more from other people. Dogs outwit baddies and escape, bringing down Cruella and her evil henchmen.

Well, la-dee-dah. This plot couldn't be less interesting if it was written by Home Alone's John Hughes. Oh, wait a minute! It was written by John Hughes! Silly me!!! In fact, 101 Dalmatians is almost exactly the same movie as Home Alone. Point in fact: Kid/dogs in trouble; bad guys chase him/them; kid/dogs end(s) up being much more resourceful; bad guys fall down a lot. Oh, funny!

Maybe you're saying, "Hey, this is a kid's movie! Lighten up!" Well, I don't think it's anywhere near being suitable for children, despite it's G rating -- there are blatant sex jokes, dead/dying animals, reactionary Puritanical attitudes (women should stay in the home), and downright destructive messages.

And this movie isn't for adults, either, because this next brick in the wall of the Disney empire is so dumbed-down it ends up just rotting the audience's brains. There's never any sense of "thrill" to this adventure, the acting is mundane, and I laughed at one single joke ("Who gets the gold?") But hey, this is Disney, and maybe brain rot is what they're aiming for! (Because then you'll pay to see next year's animated Hercules, which, from the trailer, looks even worse.)

So what do we learn from 101 Dalmatians? That your dog is smarter than you? That if your dog saves someone else's dog, you get to keep it? Who can say?

Hell, I'm a cat person, after all. So what do I know?

You see, these dogs really DID ruin the movie!



101 Dalmatians

Facts and Figures

Genre: Animation

Run time: 79 mins

In Theaters: Wednesday 25th January 1961

Distributed by: Buena Vista

Production compaines: Great Oaks Entertainment, Walt Disney Pictures

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 97%
Fresh: 36 Rotten: 1

IMDB: 7.2 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director:

Starring: as Cruella De Vil, as Roger, as Anita, as Nanny, as Jaspar

Contactmusic


Links



Advertisement

New Movies

Unforgettable Movie Review

Unforgettable Movie Review

With heavy echoes of trashy thrillers like Fatal Attraction, this movie overcomes its painfully simplistic...

The Belko Experiment Movie Review

The Belko Experiment Movie Review

The kill-or-die scenario that this movie hinges on isn't something new; it's been used in...

The Fate of the Furious Movie Review

The Fate of the Furious Movie Review

With the more dumbed-down title Fast & Furious 8 outside of North America, this overcrowded...

A Quiet Passion Movie Review

A Quiet Passion Movie Review

British writer-director Terence Davies (The Deep Blue Sea) is an expert at digging beneath the...

The Sense of an Ending Movie Review

The Sense of an Ending Movie Review

Julian Barnes' Booker Prize-winning novel is adapted into a remarkably intelligent, gently involving film anchored...

The Boss Baby Movie Review

The Boss Baby Movie Review

There isn't a lot of subtlety in this madcap animated comedy, which is more aimed...

City of Tiny Lights Movie Review

City of Tiny Lights Movie Review

After the latest incarnation of Dredd, director Pete Travis shifts gears drastically for this complex...

Advertisement
Going in Style Movie Review

Going in Style Movie Review

This is only technically a remake of the iconic 1979 film starring movie icons George...

Graduation Movie Review

Graduation Movie Review

Romanian filmmaker Cristian Mungiu (4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days) recounts another staggeringly detailed...

Ghost in the Shell Movie Review

Ghost in the Shell Movie Review

This sci-fi thriller is so visually stunning that it deserves to be mentioned in the...

Free Fire Movie Review

Free Fire Movie Review

Basically a 90-minute shoot-out, there isn't a lot to this movie. British filmmaker Ben Wheatley...

Life Movie Review

Life Movie Review

Like a mash-up of Alien and Gravity, this ripping sci-fi horror movie is very effective...

The Lost City of Z Movie Review

The Lost City of Z Movie Review

Based on a true story, it's the historical aspect of these events that holds the...

Chips Movie Review

Chips Movie Review

It's clear from the very start that this movie has little to do with the...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews
                musicians & bands in the news
                  actors & filmmakers in the news
                    celebrities in the news

                      Go Back in Time using our News archive to see what happened on a particular day in the past.