British pop veteran Tony Mortimer dreads hearing his former band East 17's Christmas classic Stay Another Day because he wrote it about his brother's suicide.
The song was a huge hit for the group in 1994 and has since become a festive staple, thanks to its winter-themed video, but East 17 co-founder Tony reveals he avoids listening to it whenever possible.
"I find it really awkward to listen to," he told DailyMail.co.uk. "When I walk around Tesco (supermarket) I'm always praying it doesn't come on."
The singer/songwriter, 46, admits he has even scolded loved ones for playing it for fun.
"My family never play it!" he shared. "My friends like to put it on and turn it up to wind me up (tease me). They've been told off plenty of times."
Stay Another Day's continued popularity means it is a big royalties earner for the star, raking in a reported $120,000 (£97,000) a year, but Tony never intended for the track to become such a smash as it was penned as a tribute to his late sibling.
"I needed a reason to write the song," he explained. "It was like therapy for me. I had never planned for it to be a hit."
And the tragic story behind the tune makes Tony reluctant to perform it onstage.
"The meaning behind it is hard for me to ignore," he said. "I think everyone forgets that none of the other band members wrote those lyrics, therefore they don't mean anything to them.
"I try to distance myself from the song but it's hard - especially on stage, it's very emotional. That's why I've said I will never perform it again."
East 17 rose to fame in the 1990s and split in 1997. They have enjoyed numerous reunions ever since, with Tony returning to the group for a stint in 2006 and again from 2010 to 2013.