Drew Barrymore refuses to take any type of anti-depressant medication because she is terrified it could change her personality - even though she suffers from crippling panic attacks. The CHARLIE'S ANGELS beauty accepts medication helped her father, but she remains convinced the drugs would stifle her emotions and leave her a different person. She explains, "Every single medical expert says (panic attacks) are not real. So you're like, 'But how come when my throat is closing up, I'm blind with dizziness, I can't catch my breath, and I am hot and faint and want to rip my skin off and am convinced I'm going to die, that's so real to me?' "I had some specialist recommend a daily drug, but I don't want to do it because I don't want to suppress my emotions. I would never take a pill. I did see that it worked on my own father." Barrymore reconciled with her father JOHN DREW BARRYMORE, after a long period of estrangement, shortly before his death from cancer in 2004. She adds, "He was on Zoloft, and he went from acting like an absolute insane maniac to a semi-insane maniac, and it was a great improvement for him, so I really believe in that stuff."