Dixie Chicks star Natalie Maines was so miserable in her first marriage to MICHAEL TARABAY she would sob in the shower and dream of his death. The WIDE OPEN SPACES singer insists Tarabay wasn't mean to her but she was just too young to be "stuck" in a relationship, and couldn't imagine divorcing her husband. Maines tells Playboy magazine, "I remember standing in the shower a lot, just crying that I was so young and stuck in my relationship forever. "I would truly think, 'How old will he be before he dies?' which is horrible. I was never going to kill him but that's how stuck I felt. "It never even crossed my mind that I could get out of it with a divorce. My parents were married forever. "When I got so happy in our (Dixie Chicks) career, it made me wake up and realise I should be that happy in my personal life." Maines divorced Tarabay in 1999 and wed actor Adrian Pasdar the following year (00).