Recovering drug and alcohol addict Colin Farrell is struggling to stay sober - and constantly fights the urge to down booze and pop pills. The Hollywood star checked into rehab in 2005, fearing his addictions would kill him if he carried on his hedonistic lifestyle. And while the Miami Vice star has been clean since, he frequently toys with the idea of indulging his passion for alcohol and narcotics for one night only. However, Farrell - with the help of past experience - is fully aware one night of excess would quickly lead him back down the path of destruction. He says, "There are times when something's happened and I'll get down. I'm still powerless today. If I started drinking now, who knows? It would probably start slowly but I'd be f**ked, fairly quickly. I just try to remember where I was. "I'd f**king love to be able to drink. I'd f**king love to have a couple of nights f**king howling at the moon. I miss howling at the moon. And not just have a drink, I'd love to be able to pop some f**king OxyContin or some Percocet (both painkillers) and know that it's not going to become a f**king habit. Turn on, tune in, drop out, I'd love it."