Chuck Pfarrer

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Hard Target Review


Bad
Hard target my ass.

Of all of the dumb action flicks that I have seen, Hard Target is perhaps the easiest target of all to hit. It sits there, a bloated animal on the silver screen, waiting for some nasty critic to take pen to paper and kick it until it stops moving... and I suppose that job would fall upon yours truly.

Continue reading: Hard Target Review

The Jackal Review


OK
If you can get past Diane Venora's laughable turn as a Russian agent (isn't that why we have Lena Olin?), you might find enough guilty pleasure in the cacophonous remake The Jackal to have a good time. Bruce Willis chews even more scenery as the villain than Richard Gere does as his Irish nemesis. Together they end up with quite an impressive body count -- watch especially for an early performance from the always entertaining Jack Black.

Darkman Review


Good
One of the lamer superheroes in comic book and movie history, Darkman is formed from massive burns over 40 percent of his body, his home-made synthetic skin which degrades after exposure to light, and an inability to feel pain. After girlfriend Frances McDormand nearly gets our scientist friend (Liam Neeson) killed, he goes all vigilante on the bad bad drug dealers in town. While Darkman has become something of a cult classic, it's also something of a dud. "Darkman" himself isn't very interesting as a hero, as a person, or as a movie. Director Sam Raimi is obviously just getting ready for his superior work in Spider-Man here.

Virus Review


Terrible
Or, how many cliches can one film incorporate or steal from other movies? Energy from outer space is evil and wants to destroy humanity (hint: WE are the virus). Computer builds half-man/half-machines out of spare parts, a la Star Trek's Borg. Or how stupid can a movie actually be? Witness Donald Sutherland's ridiculous accent. And what is Donnie's job? He's piloting a tugboat which is towing a giant barge across the ocean! If Virus wasn't so ridiculously awful it would be funny. As it is, it's derivative, boring, and stupid -- and it vies for one of the worst films of the year. Need I include the disclaimer, "Based on a comic book..."
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