Caitlyn Jenner will "always be haunted" by the fact she never told her father about her gender identity before his death.
The 66-year-old reality star was known as Bruce Jenner until she revealed her transition into a woman last April (15). Her mother Esther's reaction to her decision was shown on reality television show I Am Cait, but Caitlyn's World War II veteran father William had sadly died 15 years previously.
Cailtyn has spoken before about how she always knew on some level that she had been destined to be a woman, and as she answered questions from the audience at a University of Pennsylvania Q&A session on Wednesday night (17Feb16), she was asked about her father dying not knowing about his child's true identity.
"That will always haunt me," Caitlyn said, breaking down into tears, reports The Philadelphia Inquirer who were inside the event. "I think eventually he would have come around. He would have never understood, he didn't know anything - gay, trans, all that other stuff. But I'm sure he's looking down from heaven right now and saying, 'Well, you're doing a good job.' "
Caitlyn looked stunning for the occasion in a long-sleeved white shirt and yellow pants, and appeared in good spirits throughout the event. Questions were apparently vetted beforehand, but Cailtyn allowed queries about her family. When she was asked how her mother Esther had taken the news, Caitlyn called her her "best ally", but admitted she does sometimes slip and call her Bruce.
Speculation first began about Caitlyn's transition several months before she came out as a transgender women during an interview with Diane Sawyer. She has since become something of a spokesperson for the LGBT community, although things were very difficult in the initial stages of her transition. So much so that she even considered committing suicide.
Caitlyn told the audience that when gossip website TMZ revealed plans to publish a story about her having a consultation about having a tracheal shave (reducing the size of the Adam's apple) - one of the first stages of transition surgery - she thought, "Just take yourself out."
"But then I thought, what a horrible way to end my story," she added.
Now finally comfortable in her own skin, Caitlyn has no regrets about her decision to leave Bruce behind.
"Girls, I'm on your team and I'm sticking on your team," she said as the audience laughed and applauded her.