Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne will never write an autobiography about his crazed rock 'n' roll career, because he can't remember any of if.

The PARANOID hitmaker, who notoriously bit the head off a live bat onstage, is convinced his memoirs would make a thrilling read, but admits his alcohol and drug-fuelled hey day has destroyed almost all his memories.

He says, "I'm not ready. My memory is like one page thick.

"I was born, had a birthday, now I'm here."