Author: Pete Croatto Page 7

You Got Served

You Got Served

It's hard for me not to sound like a crotchety old man in reviewing You Got Served, the new hip hop dancing drama starring members of the soon to be defunct teen band B2K. The...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

13th Child

13th Child

I can't remember the last time I've seen a movie as thoroughly bad as 13th Child -- fully titled as The 13th Child, Legend of the Jersey Devil--Volume 1.And I don't mean bad in a...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Red Lights

Red Lights

Red Lights consists of a lot of driving, but unlike those trips you took with your folks and their array of Air Supply and Anne Murray cassettes, it's never boring. This movie is a riveting...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Together (2000)

Together (2000)

My memory might be a bit hazy, but Together dealt with the following subjects among a dozen different characters: growing up, divorce, lesbianism/homosexuality, loneliness, Communism, spousal abuse, shoddy parenting, infidelity, and marital discontent....

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Greenfingers

Greenfingers

My summer was recently saved by two very different movies. On opening night, I saw American Pie 2 and laughed like a moron. Then a few nights later, I watched and thoroughly enjoyed...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

In the middle of the lousy Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Patrick Swayze makes an appearance as a hotel dance instructor. At first, I laughed like mad over this kitschy connection: Swayze! This was tremendous. Were...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Ladies in Lavender

Ladies in Lavender

Hear about a movie starring Maggie Smith and Judi Dench, and it's pretty obvious what you're going to get, and it's not going to be car chases and bank heists. Two of the grandest dames...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Get Over It

Get Over It

Get Over It at least has one thing that a lot of other high school movies don't: earnest, affable leads. It also has all of the key flaws that make going to teen...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

American Psycho II: All American Girl

American Psycho II: All American Girl

Usually sequels offer something for fans of the original. At the very least, they have similar themes or offer the same characters and activities that made the first movie successful. That's why I'm...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

The Death Lords

The Death Lords

The promotional material for The Death Lords promises "raunchy renegades" and lots of other neat stuff that's supposedly the make-up of biker films -- drugs, women, and debauchery... and with 1970s trimmings nonetheless. Sounds great.Unfortunately,...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Underclassman

Underclassman

In a memorable Chapelle's Show sketch, Dave Chapelle's "son" raves about Nick Cannon to his frustrated father, having just lost a role to the young star of Drumline and Love Don't Cost a Thing. "Nick...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys is a movie I'm sure its participants want frozen in time. Back in 1987, Jason Patric had potential, Jami Gertz was an It Girl, and the Coreys were at the height of...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Godzilla 2000

Godzilla 2000

I have a confession. Even though I am a movie junkie--I saw Eye of the Beholder and yet I still watch movies--I've never seen any of the original Godzillas. (Note that Godzilla 2000 is not...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Enigma

Enigma

Some books are not meant to become movies. High Fidelity is a good example. Nick Hornby's great novel of a lovelorn slacker is loaded with insightful, funny rants on why guys do the...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Two for the Money

Two for the Money

Two for the Money is so frustrating to watch because you can see it falling apart with every additional subplot, every misused actor, and every tectonic shift in the story. The script covers so much...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Below

Below

When is somebody going to scare the shit out of us again?Will the day arrive when I can watch a movie with the same frightened, uneasy feeling I get when I walk through my darkened...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!

Editor's Note: It is the policy of this website to never bestow more than three stars on any film with the word "Tad" in the title, but in the spirit of experimentation, we present this...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Time Out

Time Out

Laurent Cantet effectively captures difficult feelings in Time Out, a French film about a family man who pretends to start a prominent job. Vincent (Aurélien Recoing) drives around Switzerland, pretending to be useful, trying...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Son of the Mask

Son of the Mask

You may have read about film critics who quit because they just can't tolerate the poor quality of the movies they're watching. I'm willing to bet more than a few threw down their notepads, cursed...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

Parents, you have a responsibility. Your kids should not know Julie Andrews just from the two Princess Diaries movies. Luckily, you have an opportunity since Mary Poppins, the movie that landed Andrews an Oscar and...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Paradise

Paradise

Paradise was supposed to be a star vehicle for Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson -- who were then on something like their eighth marriage and running on star power fumes. This was not exactly Burton...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Quigley Down Under

Quigley Down Under

I don't know when the law was passed, but action movies are now required to have at least half of their content full of revved up, gravity defying, John Woo influenced kung fu acrobatics....

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Annie

Annie

Looking back, why wasn't I scared to death of Annie? Most of the movie featured doe-eyed, orphaned girls either getting abused by a boozehound or doing manual labor. It's part of the movie's charm that...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Bobby Jones, Stroke Of Genius

Bobby Jones, Stroke Of Genius

If Jim Caviezel wanted his next project after The Passion of the Christ to be bland, uncontroversial, and utterly forgettable, he picked a winner in Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius. The only people bothering Caviezel...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Victor/Victoria

Victor/Victoria

I love musicals, and 1982 saw the release of one of my favorites and another one that haunts me. I'm talking about Blake Edwards' Victor/Victoria and Francis Ford Coppola's One From the Heart.Coppola's project...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

A Housekeeper

A Housekeeper

I believe Alfred Hitchcock once said that drama was nothing more than real life with the boring bits cut out. The French film A Housekeeper decides to ignore this maxim, and the result is moody,...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

The Kid Stays in the Picture

The Kid Stays in the Picture

I read Robert Evans' 1994 autobiography, The Kid Stays in the Picture, years ago and thought that it was worthy of the bargain bin at Waldenbooks--which is exactly where I found it. Evans' work was...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

Hoosiers

Hoosiers

It's very simple. When you talk about the best sports movies of all time, there is Hoosiers, and then there's everything else.Hoosiers stars Gene Hackman as Norman Dale, a former successful college coach with a...

Movie Review posted on 1st November 2005

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