Lady GaGa finds it ''very lonely'' being a performer.
The 'Pokerface' hitmaker admits it has been tough for her in the spotlight and has left her feeling insecure and alone.
She said: ''It's very lonely being a performer. There's a certain loneliness that I feel, anyway - that I'm the only one that does what I do. So, it feels like no one understands. And the urge to use is because you're searching for a way to quell the pain.
''When I first started to perform around the country doing nightclubs, there was stuff everywhere, but I had already partied when I was younger, so I didn't dabble. I was able to avoid it because I did it when I was a kid.''
And the 32-year-old singer admits she doesn't ''always practice what she preaches''.
Speaking in a profile for the Los Angeles Times, she added: ''I like to preach but I don't always practice what I preach ... I'm so insecure. To be honest, I think what makes me feel beautiful is when I see happiness in my fans. When I see or hear from them that the music that I've made has changed their life in some way, that's what makes me feel beautiful. Because this is just the outside, you know? And at the end of the day, I could be in a million movies and put out a million songs and everyone could say, 'She was so beautiful,' but that's not really what I want. I want them to say, 'I saw that movie and I cried my eyes out and I learned something about myself.'''