Rating: 1 out of 5
About halfway through Halloween: Resurrection my cell phone fell out of my pocket and onto the theater floor. The five seconds I spent blindly groping the sticky surface before deciding to resume my search later offered more excitement and thrills than the entire movie.
The eighth installment of the horror series (and the ending practically announces that yet another is coming), has masked serial killer Michael Myers wreaking more havoc. After disposing of his sister (Jamie Lee Curtis in a pointless, sad cameo) he returns to his childhood home, where six college students are hunting for clues as part of a live Halloween webcast. However, no one knows that Michael still lives there. I guess no one bothered to do a background check.
The kids, as told by organizer Busta Rhymes (I'm not making this up), are to "explore... evil in its purest form." There doesn't appear to be a point to the mission, except only to put the students (which include Sean Patrick Thomas and Thomas Ian Nicholas) in the slashing distance of Michael Myers and to imitate The Blair Witch Project's shaky camerawork.
Aside from lacking plot smarts, Larry Brand and Sam Hood's script has practically no suspense built into it. Most of the students are not physically or mentally proficient to take on Myers, so we know the end to every confrontation. And by revealing that Myers is still alive in the first five minutes of the movie, it kills all potential suspense, especially when Rhymes dons a Myers' mask to scare the kids and generate Internet buzz.
The movie is strictly a hunt and slash affair, which I suppose might suit fans who have sat through each entry. Even at such a basic level of entertainment, the filmmakers fail. Take a look at the Myers character. Here's a guy who can run through doors with nary a scratch and can absorb an inhuman amount of punishment, yet Rhymes kicks Myers' ass with a series of karate kicks. Myers kills just anybody in his path, but yet when he runs into Rhymes (in the Myers mask) he walks away. I am not even going into the galling number of plot conveniences and stretches; the Internet and my sanity can only absorb so much.
Am I missing something? I admit, I haven't watched all of the previous movies, but based on what I've seen I can't imagine why anyone else would. Halloween: Resurrection isn't lovably awful enough to merit camp appeal, the Michael Myers character is a bland murder machine, and when the killing scenes aren't unimaginative they're almost uncomfortably gruesome. At least with Halloween: H20, you could make the case that you were eying some up-and-coming stars (Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams). Reading the opening credits to Halloween: Resurrection is like watching one of those old, horrible Up All Night movies on the USA network: Busta Rhymes! Tyra Banks! Kevin from American Pie! One of the cheerleaders from Bring It On (not Eliza Dushku or Kirsten Dunst)!
Somebody stop him before he kills again.
The DVD inexplicably trots out as many extras as I've seen for a feature film. Three alternate endings, six deleted scenes, and a feature commentary should make both of your Halloween connossieurs satisfied. Various other featurettes buttress the film... but none of it can keep Myers dead. Groan.
Tired and busted.
Facts and Figures
Run time: 94 mins
In Theaters: Friday 12th July 2002
Box Office USA: $30.3M
Box Office Worldwide: $37.7M
Distributed by: Dimension Films
Production compaines: Dimension Films
Contactmusic.com: 1 / 5
Rotten Tomatoes: 12%
Fresh: 7 Rotten: 52
IMDB: 4.1 / 10
Cast & Crew
Director: Rick Rosenthal
Producer: Paul Freeman
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, Brad Loree as Michael Myers, Busta Rhymes as Freddie Harris, Bianca Kajlich as Sara Moyer, Katee Sackhoff as Jen, Thomas Ian Nicholas as Bill, Tyra Banks as Nora