Alan Thicke's widow ''didn't want to live'' after her husband's death.

The 'Growing Pains' star passed away in December 2016 after suffering a heart attack and his wife Tanya Callau admits it has been tough dealing with Alan's shock death but she feels blessed to have her family and friends.

She said: ''I'm ashamed to admit it, but at one point I didn't want to live - I really didn't. If I didn't have my family and my friends to listen to me and to hold my hand and to give me the love, the nurturing that I needed, I wouldn't be standing here in front of you right now.''

And Tanya - who was married to Alan from 2005 until his sad death - has recalled the last conversation she had with him.

She added: ''We spoke that morning. He woke up that morning and kissed my leg. He used to kiss whatever body part was sticking out of the sheets.

''I got a phone call from him in the hockey rink - he's there dressing up, getting ready to play hockey - and he's like, 'Honey, I'll be home between six and seven. How about some chicken tonight with extra gravy and lots of TV and a little sex?' I was like, 'Deal! I'll see you at six.'

''I started preparing to go to the market and then I get the phone call that something's wrong with Alan, that I had to drive down to Los Angeles.''

Tanya admits her ''heart sank'' when she was told what happened to Alan.

She told Access Hollywood: ''When I saw her standing there, my heart sank and I remember dropping my water bottle and my heart sank to my stomach. The doctors, they were explaining what happened to him and I'm listening and he said, 'I'm sorry to tell you Mrs. Thicke, but your husband has expired.' And I was like, 'What?!'''